Surviving Small Talk
- Monday, September 20 2010 @ 08:10 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 2,392
At some point or another, when you're beginning a new relationship, you're going to have to deal with small talk. When you're in a relationship that began through an online dating website, you might even deal with it multiple times. For example, you might engage in small talk when you're first corresponding through email. Then, when you finally meet in person, there might be some amount of small talk, again. No one likes those awkward first moments, and it can be even more painful if you're someone who's very shy. So, what can you do to ease the way?
First, try to avoid the hot-button subjects on the very first meeting: politics, religion, etc. First of all, if the date is very politically-or-religiously-minded, the conversation will get there anyway. Secondly, one of the benefits of an online dating profile means you probably already know if it will be an issue or not. And finally, you're trying to see if the two of you are compatible, both romantically and as friends. Don't go looking for trouble.
Now, what can you talk about that isn't the weather? Here's where a little research and preparation can be useful. If you know, from profiles or previous communication, that you already have certain things in common, try finding something interesting about the subject that you haven't already covered. If you don't have a specific subject in mind, try looking up current but interesting news articles – again, avoiding upsetting topics. The internet is full of interesting information about space exploration, human interest stories, dumb criminals, and more. Try finding some that your date might already know about and can discuss, and others that you can share. Make sure you can talk about them without getting tangled up or long-winded.
Remember, when you're in person, that you're not putting on a show here; you don't have to be absolutely smooth and suave. It's okay to acknowledge the awkwardness. Rather than thinking that you're performing for an audience, think of you and your date as co-conspirators; you're both in this situation together. Ask questions, and really listen to the answers. Before you know it, you'll be out of the mire of small talk and into a full-fledged conversation – hopefully, the first of many.
First, try to avoid the hot-button subjects on the very first meeting: politics, religion, etc. First of all, if the date is very politically-or-religiously-minded, the conversation will get there anyway. Secondly, one of the benefits of an online dating profile means you probably already know if it will be an issue or not. And finally, you're trying to see if the two of you are compatible, both romantically and as friends. Don't go looking for trouble.
Now, what can you talk about that isn't the weather? Here's where a little research and preparation can be useful. If you know, from profiles or previous communication, that you already have certain things in common, try finding something interesting about the subject that you haven't already covered. If you don't have a specific subject in mind, try looking up current but interesting news articles – again, avoiding upsetting topics. The internet is full of interesting information about space exploration, human interest stories, dumb criminals, and more. Try finding some that your date might already know about and can discuss, and others that you can share. Make sure you can talk about them without getting tangled up or long-winded.
Remember, when you're in person, that you're not putting on a show here; you don't have to be absolutely smooth and suave. It's okay to acknowledge the awkwardness. Rather than thinking that you're performing for an audience, think of you and your date as co-conspirators; you're both in this situation together. Ask questions, and really listen to the answers. Before you know it, you'll be out of the mire of small talk and into a full-fledged conversation – hopefully, the first of many.
Subscribe
