Stormy Weather
- Sunday, March 20 2011 @ 10:47 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,482
Predicting the course of a relationship is much like predicting the weather. You can attempt to take measurements using the most sophisticated analysis at your disposal, checking obsessively. You can make pretty educated guesses about the state of things. Still, the actual path ultimately remains a mystery until you get there. And every relationship balances sweet and stormy weather.
When you’re in the throes of the early stages of a relationship - the infatuation, the giddiness, the mild and sweet spring - it can be hard to remember that those storms will ever show up and darken your day. And even more importantly: are those arguments just short summer squalls that disappear within an hour, or are they an indication of a long and painful season of sadness? In short, when is an argument just an argument?
It’s important to remember that every couple argues. Even the most established, loving couples are entitled to a squabble, or even a big blowout, every now and then. Some couples, remembering past relationships, freeze and fear over even the slightest rumble of discontent. Be honest, and don’t be afraid to disagree; what’s important is how the couple handles the aftermath. Are the fights of a nature that they actually change how you see and feel about each other, or can you get “back to normal” a day or even hours later? Are your feelings for each other secure and “boarded up” enough that they can withstand even hurricane-force winds, or will they crumble under the frosty weight of emotional negativity you’ve been heaping onto each other?
You may not be able to predict the weather precisely, but there’s something to be said for following trends. Are you fighting more than you’re happy? Are you fighting over big issues that you’ll never resolve? Are you getting into huge arguments over small things, simply because neither one of you can let anything go? Perhaps, then, it’s time to have a serious talk about how the wind is blowing.
The greatest defense against tempestuous weather is communication. If you communicate regularly (not just after a fight), you’ll have a better handle on the state of your relationship, both in the good times and the bad. And remember, in a relationship, you’re part of a couple; a team, not adversaries. Arguments may occur, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find solutions together, and even ways of better handling the next fight. Perhaps you can’t predict the weather, but you can wait out the storms together.
When you’re in the throes of the early stages of a relationship - the infatuation, the giddiness, the mild and sweet spring - it can be hard to remember that those storms will ever show up and darken your day. And even more importantly: are those arguments just short summer squalls that disappear within an hour, or are they an indication of a long and painful season of sadness? In short, when is an argument just an argument?
It’s important to remember that every couple argues. Even the most established, loving couples are entitled to a squabble, or even a big blowout, every now and then. Some couples, remembering past relationships, freeze and fear over even the slightest rumble of discontent. Be honest, and don’t be afraid to disagree; what’s important is how the couple handles the aftermath. Are the fights of a nature that they actually change how you see and feel about each other, or can you get “back to normal” a day or even hours later? Are your feelings for each other secure and “boarded up” enough that they can withstand even hurricane-force winds, or will they crumble under the frosty weight of emotional negativity you’ve been heaping onto each other?
You may not be able to predict the weather precisely, but there’s something to be said for following trends. Are you fighting more than you’re happy? Are you fighting over big issues that you’ll never resolve? Are you getting into huge arguments over small things, simply because neither one of you can let anything go? Perhaps, then, it’s time to have a serious talk about how the wind is blowing.
The greatest defense against tempestuous weather is communication. If you communicate regularly (not just after a fight), you’ll have a better handle on the state of your relationship, both in the good times and the bad. And remember, in a relationship, you’re part of a couple; a team, not adversaries. Arguments may occur, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find solutions together, and even ways of better handling the next fight. Perhaps you can’t predict the weather, but you can wait out the storms together.
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