Rewriting an Old Wives' Tale

It’s not uncommon for me to hear people say, “But I’m a nice person. Why do people always ignore me? Is it true that nice people always come in last?” That cliche is as old as the hills, but people still turn to it when they’re down on their love luck. But is there any merit to it?

First, it’s important to analyze what “nice” really means to you. Does it mean being considerate, or does it mean placing the needs of everyone else before your own? Does it mean being polite, or does it mean being a doormat? Do you think it’s possible to be a “nice” person and be *censored*ertive at the same time?

When people feel they’re unappreciated as a “nice” person, the problem is often not that they’re nice, but that they lack confidence. It’s difficult to notice or appreciate someone who doesn’t think that they’re worthy of notice or appreciation. It becomes even more difficult if they *censored*ume a, “Nobody cares about me anyway” kind of attitude. A thoughtful gesture is always appreciated, but it’s a little more difficult to acknowledge it when you know you’re going to get Eeyore in response.

Now, what if you’re certain that you really are *censored*ertive, with high self-esteem, and still you feel your attentions aren’t noticed or appreciated? Well, I would then wonder why someone with high self-esteem is wasting their time on someone who doesn’t appreciate them! The fact is, nice people don’t have to come in last; there are plenty of people who appreciate a comp*censored*ionate, thoughtful partner. If you feel you’re doing everything right and still getting nowhere, it’s just possible that you’re right; perhaps the real problem lies in who you’re choosing to pursue.

Even though you’ve probably heard “Nice guys (or girls) come in last,” that doesn’t mean it’s a universal truth. Don’t give up and become a cliche! By analyzing your own attitude and goals, you may be able to prove all those old wives wrong.