Relationships: the Next Level in Communication
- Sunday, October 21 2012 @ 11:02 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,028
When it comes to relationships - starting them, maintaining them, even ending them - communication is undoubtedly key. Weirdly enough, though it’s a skill that is incredibly important to our lives, it’s something we’re usually left to muddle through alone. As such, we tend to underestimate its importance - especially when we’re not actively having a problem.
“I don’t need to work on communication,” you may scoff. “I’ve maintained relationships with my friends and family my entire life, and no one hates me yet. How is a romantic relationship any different?”
It’s not that a romantic relationship is “different” - it’s that it’s “more.” Consider a few of the basic types of relationships you may have already experienced: There are the loving relationships of your family - people you may not always like, but you do love unconditionally. There’s the relationship with your best friend - someone who takes up the majority of your social life because you enjoy being around them more than anyone else. There’s the relationship with a roommate - someone who shares your personal space, who’s most likely to step on your toes (literally and figuratively), annoy you with day-to-day inconsiderateness , but also be a source of comfort and companionship.
Now, a long-term, committed, romantic relationship: all of the above. Plus a few “minor” issues like commitment, jealousy, intimacy... And if you’re living together, you see each other potentially more than anyone else; more time to have a potential misunderstanding. It’s no wonder that problems can get so complicated between lovers, as an issue here is expressed there and it bleeds into other areas of life!
However, there’s no reason to get intimidated or create problems where there are none. Just remember this: clear communication is probably the key to avoiding countless deeper arguments and problems. So when it comes to your relationship, keep an open mind. Check in with each other. Remember that new stress can upset the “balance,” and that’s always a good time to stay even more in touch. Once you’ve formed good habits, it will feel like second nature and not be “work” at all. And rather like brushing your teeth, a little periodic maintenance is far easier in the long run than repairing something that’s festered and grown.
“I don’t need to work on communication,” you may scoff. “I’ve maintained relationships with my friends and family my entire life, and no one hates me yet. How is a romantic relationship any different?”
It’s not that a romantic relationship is “different” - it’s that it’s “more.” Consider a few of the basic types of relationships you may have already experienced: There are the loving relationships of your family - people you may not always like, but you do love unconditionally. There’s the relationship with your best friend - someone who takes up the majority of your social life because you enjoy being around them more than anyone else. There’s the relationship with a roommate - someone who shares your personal space, who’s most likely to step on your toes (literally and figuratively), annoy you with day-to-day inconsiderateness , but also be a source of comfort and companionship.
Now, a long-term, committed, romantic relationship: all of the above. Plus a few “minor” issues like commitment, jealousy, intimacy... And if you’re living together, you see each other potentially more than anyone else; more time to have a potential misunderstanding. It’s no wonder that problems can get so complicated between lovers, as an issue here is expressed there and it bleeds into other areas of life!
However, there’s no reason to get intimidated or create problems where there are none. Just remember this: clear communication is probably the key to avoiding countless deeper arguments and problems. So when it comes to your relationship, keep an open mind. Check in with each other. Remember that new stress can upset the “balance,” and that’s always a good time to stay even more in touch. Once you’ve formed good habits, it will feel like second nature and not be “work” at all. And rather like brushing your teeth, a little periodic maintenance is far easier in the long run than repairing something that’s festered and grown.
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