Realizing Hair Is Always Better On TV
- Sunday, August 08 2010 @ 08:59 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,728
If you were to ask a twelve-year-old girl what she's expecting or wanting her future spouse to be, her response might go something like this:
“I want someone like that guy from that hospital TV show! Someone who's super-attractive, and a doctor, so he's really intelligent. And a doctor, so he makes lots of money. Someone who falls in love instantly the moment he sees me, and totally understands me. Oh, and he has to be funny!”
As children, we set the bar rather high. Boys do this too – not just girls. They have their own ideal combination. Then, as time passes, we begin to date. That twelve-year-old girl learns that the perfect doctor from the TV show might not exist, and even the actor playing the doctor is revealed to be a jerk. Is she sad? Of course not. She's simply altering her expectations to what works for her.
For example, let's say she realizes that she's pretty successful, so money might not be as much of an issue as she thought it might. Or maybe it's really more important to her that she connects on an emotional level with someone, so that “totally understands me” bit becomes more important in relation to everything else. One bad date makes her realize that similar politics are important to her. Looks? Not so much, though of course attraction is necessary.
Eventually, she meets a guy who fits her new, altered criteria. No, it's not mad love at first sight, but she's been around enough to know a great thing when she sees one. She can recognize what – and who – is worth pursuing.
This is why we date, and why we interact with people; we modify our early, “dream” versions of perfection to realize what and who is perfect for us. This is why there's no such thing as a complete waste of time when it comes to dating, as long as you're learning something.
So next time you're out on a date, even if it's not going well, ask yourself what you can take away from it for the future. And double-check: are your expectations reasonable and tailored for you, or are you still stuck on a cookie-cutter model? Being honest with yourself will help you recognize a great match when you see one – even if it's not a doctor from a TV show.
“I want someone like that guy from that hospital TV show! Someone who's super-attractive, and a doctor, so he's really intelligent. And a doctor, so he makes lots of money. Someone who falls in love instantly the moment he sees me, and totally understands me. Oh, and he has to be funny!”
As children, we set the bar rather high. Boys do this too – not just girls. They have their own ideal combination. Then, as time passes, we begin to date. That twelve-year-old girl learns that the perfect doctor from the TV show might not exist, and even the actor playing the doctor is revealed to be a jerk. Is she sad? Of course not. She's simply altering her expectations to what works for her.
For example, let's say she realizes that she's pretty successful, so money might not be as much of an issue as she thought it might. Or maybe it's really more important to her that she connects on an emotional level with someone, so that “totally understands me” bit becomes more important in relation to everything else. One bad date makes her realize that similar politics are important to her. Looks? Not so much, though of course attraction is necessary.
Eventually, she meets a guy who fits her new, altered criteria. No, it's not mad love at first sight, but she's been around enough to know a great thing when she sees one. She can recognize what – and who – is worth pursuing.
This is why we date, and why we interact with people; we modify our early, “dream” versions of perfection to realize what and who is perfect for us. This is why there's no such thing as a complete waste of time when it comes to dating, as long as you're learning something.
So next time you're out on a date, even if it's not going well, ask yourself what you can take away from it for the future. And double-check: are your expectations reasonable and tailored for you, or are you still stuck on a cookie-cutter model? Being honest with yourself will help you recognize a great match when you see one – even if it's not a doctor from a TV show.
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