Polished, Not Fictional

Everyone wants to make a great first impression with their online dating profile. Before you’ve even met in person, you’re letting the reader see some of your strengths. The impression they get from your profile will possibly influence their real first impression when you meet in person. However, there’s one important point to remember: you’re playing up your strengths, not writing out-and-out fiction.

Imagine you come across a profile of someone who should probably be called Susie Sunshine. Even though they aren’t the most successful, their confidence and positive attitude shine through. That’s really what stands out to you.

Then you meet in person, and it turns out Susie Sunshine is anything but. Far from the confident, positive outlook in the profile, she’s cynical, sarcastic and downright negative at times. She didn’t lie about any of the facts in her life, but she was able to spin them better on paper than she’s evidently able to see them herself. How does that make you feel?

Chances are, you walk away with a more negative opinion than you would have had if you’d met her without any preconceived notions. Even though there were no direct lies, the entire thing feels a little dishonest. Maybe she wasn’t really all that negative, objectively, but the contrast to the profile makes the difference stand out all the more.

So as you write your own online profile, make sure the “voice” isn’t something that’s completely different from who you are. More well-spoken? Sure thing - you’ve had time to edit and proofread, after all. Perhaps the “you” on a good day rather than one where you’re feeling down? Absolutely. Just like a date where you make sure your hair is combed and you’re dressed nicely, a profile is a polished version of you. But there’s the key word - it’s polished, but it’s still you. Would you be recognizable in person?