Pictures: When the Outside Opinion May Be Most Accurate
- Thursday, October 18 2012 @ 09:23 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,006
When it comes to writing online dating profiles, I like to advise that you get an extra pair of eyes to proofread. However, there’s another area in which outside input can be incredibly valuable - sometimes even more valuable than your own opinions. I am talking, as you might guess, about the picture selection.
See, here’s how pictures differ from writing: while you are the one who knows yourself best, you’re not the one who actually sees yourself on a regular basis. You can control the message you’re sending through the written word, but you might not always be aware of the messages you’re sending through your facial expressions and body language.
You might be surprised to learn that someone else’s opinion about which pictures most flatter you differ wildly from your own. That’s because no matter how objective we try to be, most of us still focus on the small things no one else cares about: whether our hair is perfect, a little blemish, whether our teeth are crooked or whether we’re wearing makeup.
In contrast, someone else might focus more on whether your smile is genuine, or if you look like you’re having a good time. Many of us feel our “real” smile is too gummy or wide or silly, but others tend to prefer it far more than a “pretty” smile.
On the other end of the spectrum, others can help us point out the negative signals we may be sending without our knowledge. What seems “mysterious,” “manly,” “cute” or “pensive” to us may actually seem more “dead-eyed,” “intimidating,” “needy” or “blank” to others. We know the intent behind the photo - what we were thinking when it was taken - and that colors our perceptive, but someone else has only the photo to go on.
So as you choose your photos for your profile, think about getting someone else to look through them as well, and try to keep an open mind if they have criticisms or suggestions. Sure, preferences are always subjective, no matter who’s looking, but it doesn’t hurt to get a taste of how you might look through someone else’s eyes.
See, here’s how pictures differ from writing: while you are the one who knows yourself best, you’re not the one who actually sees yourself on a regular basis. You can control the message you’re sending through the written word, but you might not always be aware of the messages you’re sending through your facial expressions and body language.
You might be surprised to learn that someone else’s opinion about which pictures most flatter you differ wildly from your own. That’s because no matter how objective we try to be, most of us still focus on the small things no one else cares about: whether our hair is perfect, a little blemish, whether our teeth are crooked or whether we’re wearing makeup.
In contrast, someone else might focus more on whether your smile is genuine, or if you look like you’re having a good time. Many of us feel our “real” smile is too gummy or wide or silly, but others tend to prefer it far more than a “pretty” smile.
On the other end of the spectrum, others can help us point out the negative signals we may be sending without our knowledge. What seems “mysterious,” “manly,” “cute” or “pensive” to us may actually seem more “dead-eyed,” “intimidating,” “needy” or “blank” to others. We know the intent behind the photo - what we were thinking when it was taken - and that colors our perceptive, but someone else has only the photo to go on.
So as you choose your photos for your profile, think about getting someone else to look through them as well, and try to keep an open mind if they have criticisms or suggestions. Sure, preferences are always subjective, no matter who’s looking, but it doesn’t hurt to get a taste of how you might look through someone else’s eyes.
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