Is Patience a Virtue When it Comes to Dating?

One human trait that seems to have gone missing in recent years is patience. Most of us are used to instant gratification: we can put an item we want now on a credit card to pay back at a later date, we text instead of leaving a message or calling, and we live our lives at such a fast pace we barely have time to stop and think. This isn't a good thing when it comes to relationships.

Relationships take time, practice, and a lot of patience. Not to mention persistence. They are not easily come by, and they don't always fall into place. We have to work at them, namely by working on ourselves. We have to endure heartbreak as well as the heady feelings of falling in love. We have to make ourselves vulnerable. We take risks, and some of them don't always pan out.

As I see it, romantic relationships are a process. We make mistakes, especially in the beginning, because we need to learn more about ourselves and other people. We learn where our weaknesses are, and where we have to rise to the occasion. We learn where we're vulnerable. These lessons don't happen overnight, but along the way over several years.

And while you might be thinking, "I've dated a really long time. I'm tired of being alone. I'm ready to meet someone now," relationships usually aren't ordered on demand. While your timing might be sooner rather than later, you're missing out by not being in the present and being more aware of the people who are in your life now.

When online dating, it's easy to fall into traps. You might scroll hurriedly through profiles, dismissing someone because he doesn't have hair or she looks a little overweight. But that's not going to get you to your destination faster. Instead of dismissing your dates or matches quickly based on a five-second assessment, try talking to them, meeting them for coffee, and really taking the time to get to know them. Practice your dating technique, your listening skills. Learn about your date, and you'll probably discover more about who you are - and what you do and don't want in a relationship.

I'm a big advocate for having patience when it comes to most things in life. When things come too easily, we can take them for granted. When we've made a real effort and understood ourselves more along the way, opportunities are usually much more rewarding. It is this way with relationships - they are worth the effort.