Overcoming Dating Anxiety

Do you get nervous on first dates? You're not alone. Most people aren't sure who exactly they're going to meet, what they'll have to talk about, or whether the date will be fun or horrible.

Of course, nobody can predict these things - dating involves risk-taking. We put ourselves out there without knowing what will happen, which takes courage, but is also a necessary part of the process of meeting potential love interests. We will have good dates and bad dates. Some will lead to relationships and others won't. So all the worry and analysis surrounding dating is counter-productive. As with everything in life, if it doesn't work out, keep moving forward.

Following are some tips to help ease your anxiety before a date:

It's just a date. Many people get wound up in all of the rules and advice thrown at them about dating and relationships. Maybe you've been told to not be so clingy or available. Or maybe you've been told to ask more questions instead of doing all the talking. Whatever the case, let go of all of the things you're "supposed" to do, and try to have a little fun. It's one night. It's just a date. So take a breath and let it happen.

Go someplace you like. There's no rule that says you have to meet someone for the first time at a coffee shop. If you want to get a hike or roller blading session in, then suggest it! Active dates often make it easier to have a conversation. And when you're doing something you want to do anyway, you'll have a better time no matter who you meet.

Stay positive. Sometimes we tend to talk ourselves out of things. Do you find your mind wandering on dates - asking yourself if he really likes you, if you look good, or what you should be saying or doing instead? Stop with all the questioning, self-criticism and negative chatter. People are attracted to all different types, so don't try to guess what your date wants, likes or needs. Instead, focus on the conversation and stay positive in who you are and what you want in a relationship. Often, what we want comes in a package we don't expect.

Keep an open mind. Do your friends try to talk you out of dating a certain kind of guy? Do you date only your "type" anyway? Then maybe it's time to take their advice and go outside your comfort zone. (Dating those same old types hasn't worked so far, has it?) Think about how you want to feel in a relationship instead of all the credentials your man must possess. A good income doesn't mean anything if he loses his job. And a tall man doesn't mean much when he treats you badly. Concentrate on how you want a relationship to make you feel, and then take it from there.