Opposites Attract?
- Tuesday, June 08 2010 @ 09:26 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 4,048
We've all met a couple that made us question the laws of attraction. Maybe one is a Republican and the other is a Democrat, or one is meek and the other boisterous. They seem to get along great, but we don't know why. And we begin to wonder: do opposites really attract?
Well, yes. And no. Before we go searching through online databases for everything we despise, we need to figure out what we really mean when we talk about opposites attracting. In my opinion, there are two concepts at work here: the priorities of both involved, and the idea of being a compliment, not an opposite.
It is entirely possible to be compatible with someone who wouldn't necessarily work on paper. For example, perhaps you and your partner are of two different religions. However, neither one has ever been extremely religious, aside from the cultural perspective. Thus, it is perfectly possible o co-exist without major theological arguments, because neither one prioritizes it highly. Conversely, if you're a major member of your political party, it might drive you nuts to be in a relationship with someone on the other end of the political spectrum.
Thus, a couple can be a supposed “opposite” in many surface ways that simply don't matter, or don't matter equally, to both partners. Maybe she loves to build model boats, and he doesn't, but he has no problem keeping her stocked in glue and balsa wood. Maybe he'll run out to political rallies, and she's content to hear the details later. As long as there's mutual respect about their differences, it works.
Then there's the issue of core personalities, the kind of “opposites” where one is an introvert and the other is the life of the party. In this case, I think we should think less in terms of “opposite” and instead consider them “complimentary.” Perhaps these two people work well when one is in the limelight and the other is a supporting player. Often, what we think of as “opposite” personality traits often work to bring out the best in each other.
All couples are probably “opposites” in some way, whether it's an interest they don't share or a core personality trait. The key is to figure out what you need, and think outside the box. If you know you're a woman that likes sensitive men, make a concerted effort to seek them out. If you're a guy who needs his own space, stop trying so hard to find a woman whose interests match up perfectly. Sometimes an “opposite” is truly your compliment.
Well, yes. And no. Before we go searching through online databases for everything we despise, we need to figure out what we really mean when we talk about opposites attracting. In my opinion, there are two concepts at work here: the priorities of both involved, and the idea of being a compliment, not an opposite.
It is entirely possible to be compatible with someone who wouldn't necessarily work on paper. For example, perhaps you and your partner are of two different religions. However, neither one has ever been extremely religious, aside from the cultural perspective. Thus, it is perfectly possible o co-exist without major theological arguments, because neither one prioritizes it highly. Conversely, if you're a major member of your political party, it might drive you nuts to be in a relationship with someone on the other end of the political spectrum.
Thus, a couple can be a supposed “opposite” in many surface ways that simply don't matter, or don't matter equally, to both partners. Maybe she loves to build model boats, and he doesn't, but he has no problem keeping her stocked in glue and balsa wood. Maybe he'll run out to political rallies, and she's content to hear the details later. As long as there's mutual respect about their differences, it works.
Then there's the issue of core personalities, the kind of “opposites” where one is an introvert and the other is the life of the party. In this case, I think we should think less in terms of “opposite” and instead consider them “complimentary.” Perhaps these two people work well when one is in the limelight and the other is a supporting player. Often, what we think of as “opposite” personality traits often work to bring out the best in each other.
All couples are probably “opposites” in some way, whether it's an interest they don't share or a core personality trait. The key is to figure out what you need, and think outside the box. If you know you're a woman that likes sensitive men, make a concerted effort to seek them out. If you're a guy who needs his own space, stop trying so hard to find a woman whose interests match up perfectly. Sometimes an “opposite” is truly your compliment.
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