Only the Awesome Need Apply
- Thursday, October 11 2012 @ 09:36 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,068
When writing your own online dating profile, it’s natural that what you most focus on is... you. After all, that’s why people are reading it, right? Well, yes and no. Think about how you read when you read the profile of someone else. Are you genuinely interested in the fifteenth random person you’re reading about? Or are you really more interested in how they match up to you, to your interests and your personality?
The truth is, we tend to skim over facts that are less relevant to us and zero in on areas where we match. With this knowledge in mind, it becomes clear that we ought to be spending more time on one area of the profile: the part where we talk about what we’re looking for. After all, they’re sure to be interested if you’re potentially talking about them, right?
Yet many people gloss over this area of their profile - or, worse, turn it into an actual turnoff. Men and women are equal opportunity offenders here; I’ve actually seen the following phrases: “Message me if you’re awesome.” “Email me if you’re a real man.” “I’m looking for someone who’s hot and smart. Email me if you fit the bill.” Wow. No pressure, right? Those kinds of statements pretty much guarantee that the only people who feel confident enough to still contact you probably have egos the size of Oklahoma.
The idea is to actually encourage people to contact you, to make them feel like they just might be a potential match. That’s why it’s important to give lots of “maybes” and options in your description; they’ll zero in on the parts that match, but they don’t feel pressured to be a perfect fit. If they read “You might like rock climbing or cooking,” and they bake a mean souffle but have never scaled a wall, they still might feel confident enough to send that email.
If, however, you write the equivalent of “Only Greek gods and goddesses apply,” you’re potentially scaring off people with real potential, and probably getting the people who only think they’re worthy of Mount Olympus. So when you write up your own profile, make that section work to your advantage - instead of intimidating all but the most delusional.
The truth is, we tend to skim over facts that are less relevant to us and zero in on areas where we match. With this knowledge in mind, it becomes clear that we ought to be spending more time on one area of the profile: the part where we talk about what we’re looking for. After all, they’re sure to be interested if you’re potentially talking about them, right?
Yet many people gloss over this area of their profile - or, worse, turn it into an actual turnoff. Men and women are equal opportunity offenders here; I’ve actually seen the following phrases: “Message me if you’re awesome.” “Email me if you’re a real man.” “I’m looking for someone who’s hot and smart. Email me if you fit the bill.” Wow. No pressure, right? Those kinds of statements pretty much guarantee that the only people who feel confident enough to still contact you probably have egos the size of Oklahoma.
The idea is to actually encourage people to contact you, to make them feel like they just might be a potential match. That’s why it’s important to give lots of “maybes” and options in your description; they’ll zero in on the parts that match, but they don’t feel pressured to be a perfect fit. If they read “You might like rock climbing or cooking,” and they bake a mean souffle but have never scaled a wall, they still might feel confident enough to send that email.
If, however, you write the equivalent of “Only Greek gods and goddesses apply,” you’re potentially scaring off people with real potential, and probably getting the people who only think they’re worthy of Mount Olympus. So when you write up your own profile, make that section work to your advantage - instead of intimidating all but the most delusional.
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