Online Dating Déjà vu: How to Manage Your Return to the Dating Scene

  • Sunday, January 17 2010 @ 11:30 am
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You've been off of your favorite online dating site for awhile now. But - you've taken the step, logged back in and reactivated your account. That's a relief, isn't it? Now it's time to search! (The fun part...) You enter your criteria, hit the magic button...

but you've seen most of these people before.

What the...

They're what I used to call the "Repeat Offenders." The same people seem to be online every time I go back to an online dating site after a break. Granted, there are always some inactive profiles that show up because the dating sites think they look good, but why are these people still here? There must be something wrong with them, right?

But wait - you're here, too. Are they saying the same thing about YOU? Maybe you're on the site everytime THEY come back from a break, too! (funny, isn't it?) It's a double edged sword and believe me: it cuts both ways. That's something I'd never thought of until one of my friends, faced with my "Repeat Offenders" theory, offered me another way to look at things.

Instead of looking at the people you've seen before as "defective," why not embark upon an online dating adventure and take another look? Their profile may have been rewritten, new pictures posted...something that brings a spark to your eye! And they're probably "not defective." Like, you, they get busy with work. They start dating someone and it doesn't work for whatever reason. And odds are, they're picky - just like you. They're not willing to settle for the sake of being in a relationship. Whatever is takes, they're holding out. And that's anything BUT defective. That's actually pretty admirable.

So next time you see one of the "Repeat Offenders," do yourself a favor: give them a glance, as you're hoping that's what someone might do for you.