One Tip to Rule Them All: Avoid Negativity
- Saturday, February 25 2012 @ 08:18 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,256
When you sit down to edit your online dating profile, it can be a bit overwhelming. You want to be concise, but you’d better not have bare laundry lists! You want to allow insight into your personality and character, but you’d better not ramble! You might be sending messages through your pictures, your headline, the extra information you choose to share or keep private! It’s a tough tightrope to walk. So if you don’t feel you’re ready to join the circus quite yet, here’s one simple editing rule to keep in mind: watch for negativity.
Negativity can creep in in all sorts of nefarious ways. First, and most frequently, it pops up when you talk about yourself. In countless ways, we tell people we’re not special: “I’m an average guy,” “I do all the normal things on the weekend,” “I’m not a model,” and worse. Someone might apologize for not having an “interesting” career. Of course, when we look at the profiles of other people we fully realize that most people don’t have careers straight out of the movies and they don’t all look like actors; still, we place that sort of pressure on ourselves, and it shows.
Secondly, a negative attitude can become apparent when you talk about others. Most frequently, it’s related to your own baggage. Maybe it’s when we talk about the past: “I’m sick of party animals and the club scene.” Maybe it’s when we talk about what we want in the future: “I want someone who is faithful and not lying scum.” “Don’t even bother writing me if you’re afraid of commitment.” And maybe it comes up when we try to differentiate ourselves from the “competition”: “I’m not like those girls who mess around behind your back.” In this case, the old adage is proven true: If you can’t say something nice (about yourself or others), don’t say anything at all.
Finally, negativity can even creep into your pictures. Were you genuinely in a good mood when they were taken, or did you grimly take some head shots in a mirror because they’re required? Even if you’re smiling, the viewer can tell when the smile doesn’t reach your eyes, and it can turn them off without even fully realizing why. A candid, genuinely happy photo is always better than a fake posed one, even if it’s less flattering.
If you’re on the lookout for negativity in your profile, the rest of the tips and tricks become intuitive and easy. So don’t let yourself become overwhelmed when it comes to the editing phase: simply strike down negative impressions wherever you’ll see them, and you’ll be well on your way to a compelling profile.
Negativity can creep in in all sorts of nefarious ways. First, and most frequently, it pops up when you talk about yourself. In countless ways, we tell people we’re not special: “I’m an average guy,” “I do all the normal things on the weekend,” “I’m not a model,” and worse. Someone might apologize for not having an “interesting” career. Of course, when we look at the profiles of other people we fully realize that most people don’t have careers straight out of the movies and they don’t all look like actors; still, we place that sort of pressure on ourselves, and it shows.
Secondly, a negative attitude can become apparent when you talk about others. Most frequently, it’s related to your own baggage. Maybe it’s when we talk about the past: “I’m sick of party animals and the club scene.” Maybe it’s when we talk about what we want in the future: “I want someone who is faithful and not lying scum.” “Don’t even bother writing me if you’re afraid of commitment.” And maybe it comes up when we try to differentiate ourselves from the “competition”: “I’m not like those girls who mess around behind your back.” In this case, the old adage is proven true: If you can’t say something nice (about yourself or others), don’t say anything at all.
Finally, negativity can even creep into your pictures. Were you genuinely in a good mood when they were taken, or did you grimly take some head shots in a mirror because they’re required? Even if you’re smiling, the viewer can tell when the smile doesn’t reach your eyes, and it can turn them off without even fully realizing why. A candid, genuinely happy photo is always better than a fake posed one, even if it’s less flattering.
If you’re on the lookout for negativity in your profile, the rest of the tips and tricks become intuitive and easy. So don’t let yourself become overwhelmed when it comes to the editing phase: simply strike down negative impressions wherever you’ll see them, and you’ll be well on your way to a compelling profile.
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