Not a Trial Date
- Saturday, July 16 2011 @ 04:20 pm
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,596
The process of finding the right one for you can look quite different from what someone else chooses to do, depending on where in the world you are and what culture you hail from. For some, it might be professional matchmaking; for others, it arrives at the end of some trial-and-error. Still others stay with the first person they ever dated. Online dating isn’t just the best of both worlds; it combines positive aspects of nearly all possibilities.
One of the many benefits of online dating is that there’s a lot of variety and choice: you might sort through hundreds before you find someone you want to email, and you might email dozens before you find someone you want to meet on a date. Luckily, it’s fast and easy to skim through your options, so the sheer numbers aren’t quite as intimidating. And based on your interests and preferences, many online dating sites do a bit of technological matchmaking to help narrow the field, offering up potential matches.
With so many options, it can be easy to consider the first few dates “trial runs.” After all, you haven’t really gotten the hang of small talk yet, and it’s not like you’re a professional dater; you’re bound to get better at this as you go along. And that’s quite true - dating is somewhat a learned skill. However, just because you shouldn’t take your awkward pauses or stumbling speech seriously, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t seriously consider the person sitting across the table from you.
It might seem difficult to fathom - after all, who wouldn’t take their date seriously as a potential match? That’s why you emailed them in the first place! However, it’s not uncommon for someone, overwhelmed with the potential of online dating, to want to “see what else is out there.” And really, it’s not so uncommon in the wider world of dating in general; you often hear someone worry that they’ve met their significant other “too soon,” or that they “don’t want to marry the first person who comes along.”
While it’s certainly true that you want to have a good grasp of your needs and priorities, it’s also true that a perfectly compatible person could come along at any time. They might be the last person you date - or the first. So as you go out on your first dates, remember that you’re looking for a compatible person - not the right number.
One of the many benefits of online dating is that there’s a lot of variety and choice: you might sort through hundreds before you find someone you want to email, and you might email dozens before you find someone you want to meet on a date. Luckily, it’s fast and easy to skim through your options, so the sheer numbers aren’t quite as intimidating. And based on your interests and preferences, many online dating sites do a bit of technological matchmaking to help narrow the field, offering up potential matches.
With so many options, it can be easy to consider the first few dates “trial runs.” After all, you haven’t really gotten the hang of small talk yet, and it’s not like you’re a professional dater; you’re bound to get better at this as you go along. And that’s quite true - dating is somewhat a learned skill. However, just because you shouldn’t take your awkward pauses or stumbling speech seriously, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t seriously consider the person sitting across the table from you.
It might seem difficult to fathom - after all, who wouldn’t take their date seriously as a potential match? That’s why you emailed them in the first place! However, it’s not uncommon for someone, overwhelmed with the potential of online dating, to want to “see what else is out there.” And really, it’s not so uncommon in the wider world of dating in general; you often hear someone worry that they’ve met their significant other “too soon,” or that they “don’t want to marry the first person who comes along.”
While it’s certainly true that you want to have a good grasp of your needs and priorities, it’s also true that a perfectly compatible person could come along at any time. They might be the last person you date - or the first. So as you go out on your first dates, remember that you’re looking for a compatible person - not the right number.
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