Not a Good Deal
- Saturday, July 16 2011 @ 09:26 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,376
Everyone loves to find the diamond in the rough. The piece of furniture that just needs a little cleaning up to suddenly complete a room. The house bought cheap and fixed up into a mansion. The perfect formal dress, found at a thrift store. The fabulous steal that managed to find its way to auction.
In most cases, finding a diamond in the rough can be well worth the time and energy spent searching or restoring. However, there’s one area where you shouldn’t be looking for a fixer-upper: your relationships.
It might seem a little silly to view a potential match like you might a run-down house, but people do it all time. They think of their matches in terms of their potential, and sometimes ignore the red flags that are before them.
“Someday, when she inevitably settles down, I think she’d be a great wife,” someone might think. “He’s got some questionable views about women, but I could break those bad habits.” “Sure, he’s egotistical and arrogant right now, but the potential!”
Simply put, a person is not a house or a piece of furniture; chances are, they will not mold and bend to your will unquestioningly. Maybe you’ll never succeed in “fixing up” your partner. Why spend your time and energy focusing on something that might never be, instead of finding a match who is a good fit for you “as-is”?
When you next look at an online dating profile, or meet someone for a first date, try not to focus on a vision of the future. Instead, look at the real, complete human being before you, and focus on the possibilities in the here and now.
In most cases, finding a diamond in the rough can be well worth the time and energy spent searching or restoring. However, there’s one area where you shouldn’t be looking for a fixer-upper: your relationships.
It might seem a little silly to view a potential match like you might a run-down house, but people do it all time. They think of their matches in terms of their potential, and sometimes ignore the red flags that are before them.
“Someday, when she inevitably settles down, I think she’d be a great wife,” someone might think. “He’s got some questionable views about women, but I could break those bad habits.” “Sure, he’s egotistical and arrogant right now, but the potential!”
Simply put, a person is not a house or a piece of furniture; chances are, they will not mold and bend to your will unquestioningly. Maybe you’ll never succeed in “fixing up” your partner. Why spend your time and energy focusing on something that might never be, instead of finding a match who is a good fit for you “as-is”?
When you next look at an online dating profile, or meet someone for a first date, try not to focus on a vision of the future. Instead, look at the real, complete human being before you, and focus on the possibilities in the here and now.
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