Me Time
- Tuesday, January 18 2011 @ 03:25 pm
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,881
Some people experience life with their first roommate early in life - a sibling or other family member. Others get their roommate on the first day of college, sitcom-style. But still others manage to live roommate-free until well into adulthood, in the middle of a romance. It’s a shame, really, because those with roommate experience have already learned one key lesson when it comes to romance: sometimes, everyone needs their space.
I’m not just talking about living together, though certainly that’s the easiest example; in any relationship you’re making the other party a part of your life. In most cases, they aren’t filling a pre-determined time slot. Instead, the rest of your life shifts and rearranges to accommodate the new priority. And, in general, you’re suddenly alone much less often than you were before.
Many people actually need a little alone time to decompress. When you’re dealing with a sibling or a college roommate, this isn’t a big deal; you find ways to tune out and get your privacy, even if it’s only in your head. You don’t worry about what alone time means for your relationship, because you aren’t worried that your roommate or sibling will leave you. In a romantic relationship, however, there’s added insecurity. Suddenly a little decompression turns into a situation where one person is “distant.”
In some cases, it’s almost easier when the romantic couple in question is living together; after all, most people recognize that it’s fairly unreasonable to expect to be together 24 hours a day, seven days a week. When you’re in the early stages of a romance, however, it’s not uncommon to literally spend every free minute together. Of course the desire to be alone once in awhile is perfectly natural; however, when you’re overanalyzing every feeling and thought, it’s easy to wonder if there’s something wrong.
Thus, when your relationship begins to consume most of your time, remember this key point: it’s fine to need a little alone time. In fact, setting a precedence of independence early on might stave off insecurities later - the dreaded “We’re not as in love as we were in the beginning!” Bear in mind that spending a little time apart does not mean you won’t be there at the end of the day. As any seven-year-old sharing a room can tell you, we all need our space from time to time.
I’m not just talking about living together, though certainly that’s the easiest example; in any relationship you’re making the other party a part of your life. In most cases, they aren’t filling a pre-determined time slot. Instead, the rest of your life shifts and rearranges to accommodate the new priority. And, in general, you’re suddenly alone much less often than you were before.
Many people actually need a little alone time to decompress. When you’re dealing with a sibling or a college roommate, this isn’t a big deal; you find ways to tune out and get your privacy, even if it’s only in your head. You don’t worry about what alone time means for your relationship, because you aren’t worried that your roommate or sibling will leave you. In a romantic relationship, however, there’s added insecurity. Suddenly a little decompression turns into a situation where one person is “distant.”
In some cases, it’s almost easier when the romantic couple in question is living together; after all, most people recognize that it’s fairly unreasonable to expect to be together 24 hours a day, seven days a week. When you’re in the early stages of a romance, however, it’s not uncommon to literally spend every free minute together. Of course the desire to be alone once in awhile is perfectly natural; however, when you’re overanalyzing every feeling and thought, it’s easy to wonder if there’s something wrong.
Thus, when your relationship begins to consume most of your time, remember this key point: it’s fine to need a little alone time. In fact, setting a precedence of independence early on might stave off insecurities later - the dreaded “We’re not as in love as we were in the beginning!” Bear in mind that spending a little time apart does not mean you won’t be there at the end of the day. As any seven-year-old sharing a room can tell you, we all need our space from time to time.
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