Marriage Material Or Heartbreak Waiting To Happen?

Whether this is your first online romance or your fiftieth, chances are good that you don't have a foolproof system for determining your paramour's potential to be a long-term partner. It happens to all of us sooner or later - a relationship will be progressing nicely, and then all of a sudden we find ourselves plagued by thoughts of "But is this The One? Could I settle down with this person? Are we truly compatible? What does our future hold?"

I have a confession to make: I don't have a foolproof system either. No one does. Ultimately, the only person who can decide what's right for you is you, and you're probably going to make a few mistakes before finding your perfect match.

I can, however, offer some first-rate guidance on finding Mr. or Mrs. Right before the trial and error method puts too much wear and tear on your heart. To determine if your date is marriage material, consider these questions:

• Does your date agree with everything you say? This is a bit of a trick question. Someone who respects your opinions is a keeper - but someone who constantly agrees with you just for the sake of agreeing with you is not. To sustain a long-term relationship, you need a partner who has an opinion of their own, and who will defend it to the death when they feel strongly about it.

• Do they have a good relationship with their family? A close relationship with parents is a sign of stability and emotional health, and usually indicates the potential to be in a steady long-term relationship. But a relationship that is too close, to the point that it becomes needy and dependent, is a problem.

• Are you the most important thing in their life? This is another trick question. Everyone wants (and deserves!) to feel needed and special, but if you are the center of your date's universe you might want to rethink their partnership potential. A man or woman who is marriage material does not call to check in with you four times a day, and doesn't get upset if you spend a night or two away with your friends. The rule of healthy parental relationships applies here too: a strong, loving connection is a good thing, while neediness and dependence are not.

• Does your date have realistic expectations of your future together - and do their expectations match yours? A shared vision of your future is essential to a successful long-term relationship. Talk openly about your goals and expectations to make sure they are A) Aligned and B) Achievable. Don't set yourself up for disappointment.

There's one final question I want you to keep in mind when deciding if your love is marriage material: Do they seem too good to be true? Follow the old adage in this situation - if they seem too good to be true, they probably are. No one is flawless, and a sincere, genuine partner will not have a problem revealing their flaws when they feel a lasting connection with you.