Looking for a Friend, Not a Clone
- Tuesday, May 25 2010 @ 10:04 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,699
I recently heard that there are dating sites that match up couples based on their taste in books. While this sounds compelling, the first thought I had was, “What about all those fans of romance novels?”
The truth is, we are all multi-layered individuals with many interests. Some of those interests are incredibly niche, and some of them even tend to fall along gender lines. While it's certainly possible to find men who like romance novels and women who like military science fiction, it's not easy.
So what does that mean when we're filling out our online dating profiles? Should we censor ourselves? Should we produce a more distilled, generic version of ourselves?
Well, no. However, since we have a wide range of interests, it can't hurt to double-check that we're not only listing the difficult, niche ones. Maybe you like military science fiction, but you also like Star Wars. It's going to be much easier to find another Star Wars fan. Or maybe you're a woman with a weakness for chick flicks – well, you might find men who have one as well, but the movies have acquired that term for a reason. Don't hold your breath.
Remember, it's okay if you don't match up in every single interest. If you do wind up in a long-term relationship, eventually you're going to want your own space, your own interests. It might be fun to have a partner with whom to attend that comic book convention – but you might be just as happy leaving the partner at home and going with a friend.
Maybe you're holding out hope that you find that one person who loves military science fiction as much as you do. It's perfectly acceptable to include it in your profile; I would just make sure there's other, more popular interests as well. As an alternative, you could list “science fiction,” and list a few specific favorites that would appeal to the military buff, while still leaving the door open for other kinds of sci-fi.
So as you're proofreading your online dating profile, ask yourself: are your interests too niche? Do you have a balance that reflects who you are, but that others can relate to? Remember, part of meeting friends is finding what you have in common, not simply listing who you are.
The truth is, we are all multi-layered individuals with many interests. Some of those interests are incredibly niche, and some of them even tend to fall along gender lines. While it's certainly possible to find men who like romance novels and women who like military science fiction, it's not easy.
So what does that mean when we're filling out our online dating profiles? Should we censor ourselves? Should we produce a more distilled, generic version of ourselves?
Well, no. However, since we have a wide range of interests, it can't hurt to double-check that we're not only listing the difficult, niche ones. Maybe you like military science fiction, but you also like Star Wars. It's going to be much easier to find another Star Wars fan. Or maybe you're a woman with a weakness for chick flicks – well, you might find men who have one as well, but the movies have acquired that term for a reason. Don't hold your breath.
Remember, it's okay if you don't match up in every single interest. If you do wind up in a long-term relationship, eventually you're going to want your own space, your own interests. It might be fun to have a partner with whom to attend that comic book convention – but you might be just as happy leaving the partner at home and going with a friend.
Maybe you're holding out hope that you find that one person who loves military science fiction as much as you do. It's perfectly acceptable to include it in your profile; I would just make sure there's other, more popular interests as well. As an alternative, you could list “science fiction,” and list a few specific favorites that would appeal to the military buff, while still leaving the door open for other kinds of sci-fi.
So as you're proofreading your online dating profile, ask yourself: are your interests too niche? Do you have a balance that reflects who you are, but that others can relate to? Remember, part of meeting friends is finding what you have in common, not simply listing who you are.
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