Leave the Drama at the Theater
- Saturday, February 13 2010 @ 08:45 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 2,744
Recently a friend of mine started dating a new guy. A few days ago, she confessed that she felt something was wrong, something was lacking - but she couldn't quite put it into words.
Naturally, I start questioning her. Was it chemistry? Nope. Was he boring? No. Did she have feelings for him? Yes. This went on for awhile, until, frustrated, I asked her to come up with some concrete examples of what was bothering her.
“Well, I was really busy at work last month,” she began. “And then he had to go out of the country for a few weeks. So, he's back now, and... everything is the same.”
I wasn't impressed. “So?” I said.
That was, literally, the entire problem. He hadn't fallen in love with someone when he was out of the country. Things weren't weird due to their time apart. And that seemed strange to her.
She wasn't seeking the excitement of difficulty, I gathered. She simply was waiting for the other shoe to drop – a sort of cynicism I hadn't quite thought about before.
People often rail about the negative effects of fairy tales and romantic movies – they say it conditions people to expect fireworks, that everything is always lovely. I say depictions of relationships in pop culture do the opposite just as often.
Think about it: what happens when you see a couple that is seemingly comfortable? One of them has an affair, or gets hit by a truck, or turns out to be an enemy spy, or gets kidnapped. If a character isn't falling in love, they're having love cruelly ripped from them.
This makes sense, from a storytelling standpoint; a tale of a happy couple would be boring to most after a few minutes. There needs to be some conflict, some drama, to keep the story moving.
But life isn't a carefully plotted script. Sometimes, there isn't a villain waiting in the wings. Sometimes everything is simply normal, and you can relax. Bear this in mind as you start your new relationships; don't let the beauty of comfort pass by because you're waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Naturally, I start questioning her. Was it chemistry? Nope. Was he boring? No. Did she have feelings for him? Yes. This went on for awhile, until, frustrated, I asked her to come up with some concrete examples of what was bothering her.
“Well, I was really busy at work last month,” she began. “And then he had to go out of the country for a few weeks. So, he's back now, and... everything is the same.”
I wasn't impressed. “So?” I said.
That was, literally, the entire problem. He hadn't fallen in love with someone when he was out of the country. Things weren't weird due to their time apart. And that seemed strange to her.
She wasn't seeking the excitement of difficulty, I gathered. She simply was waiting for the other shoe to drop – a sort of cynicism I hadn't quite thought about before.
People often rail about the negative effects of fairy tales and romantic movies – they say it conditions people to expect fireworks, that everything is always lovely. I say depictions of relationships in pop culture do the opposite just as often.
Think about it: what happens when you see a couple that is seemingly comfortable? One of them has an affair, or gets hit by a truck, or turns out to be an enemy spy, or gets kidnapped. If a character isn't falling in love, they're having love cruelly ripped from them.
This makes sense, from a storytelling standpoint; a tale of a happy couple would be boring to most after a few minutes. There needs to be some conflict, some drama, to keep the story moving.
But life isn't a carefully plotted script. Sometimes, there isn't a villain waiting in the wings. Sometimes everything is simply normal, and you can relax. Bear this in mind as you start your new relationships; don't let the beauty of comfort pass by because you're waiting for the other shoe to drop.
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