Is Your Profile Balanced?
- Thursday, August 26 2010 @ 08:08 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 2,029
Often, when there's a problem with anything, it's because it's not balanced. Bike falling over? Balance problem. Gaining weight? Probably not a very balanced diet. Not balancing your partying with your eating and sleeping and working? You might run into problems.
Similarly, many online dating profiles have problems that come down to balance. I cannot tell you how many times I've seen profiles in which the writer gives next to no information about themselves, and then proceeds to write a novel about who they're looking for. Okay, sure, you might know you're everything the person is looking for... but why should you email them? What do they have to offer? Are they not telling you because they're ashamed? Or maybe they're one of those people in which the fault in a relationship always lies with someone else, and they think they're perfect? See, if there's not enough information, the imagination really gets going.
On the other end of the spectrum are the unbalanced people who spend little time in their profile on what they're looking for and the rest of it on Number One. Sometimes these can read like resumes, and not in a good way: “I can fix electronics! I'm handy around the house! I know how to cook! I've got good birthing hips!” This might get them some job offers, but it's hard to know if you're what they're looking for. In fact, it's hard to know if they're looking for anyone at all, or if they just decided to use the space to advertise what a great human being they are.
Oh, before I forget, there are those who are unbalanced in a third way: very little text, lots of sexy pictures. Vague statements that can be applied to anyone, like fortune cookies. These are probably, I'm sorry to say, not legitimate profiles. Beware.
The problem is that an online dating profile should be used as a baseline to test compatibility. You're not trying to sell yourself, and you're not trying to hire someone – you're trying to find a friend. And whether you know it or not, an unbalanced profile is sending one very large message: if the writing is one-sided, we probably wouldn't be able to have a good conversation, either. And thus, the reader moves on.
Luckily, checking for balance in your profile is something that's very simple to do. You don't even have to reread every word – just scan it for sections. Do you spend maybe two paragraphs on yourself and one on your dream match, or two on yourself and eight on your match? It doesn't have to be exactly equal, but you should be able to easily tell if something is off. Give it a try – bringing a little extra balance into your life could bring rewards.
Similarly, many online dating profiles have problems that come down to balance. I cannot tell you how many times I've seen profiles in which the writer gives next to no information about themselves, and then proceeds to write a novel about who they're looking for. Okay, sure, you might know you're everything the person is looking for... but why should you email them? What do they have to offer? Are they not telling you because they're ashamed? Or maybe they're one of those people in which the fault in a relationship always lies with someone else, and they think they're perfect? See, if there's not enough information, the imagination really gets going.
On the other end of the spectrum are the unbalanced people who spend little time in their profile on what they're looking for and the rest of it on Number One. Sometimes these can read like resumes, and not in a good way: “I can fix electronics! I'm handy around the house! I know how to cook! I've got good birthing hips!” This might get them some job offers, but it's hard to know if you're what they're looking for. In fact, it's hard to know if they're looking for anyone at all, or if they just decided to use the space to advertise what a great human being they are.
Oh, before I forget, there are those who are unbalanced in a third way: very little text, lots of sexy pictures. Vague statements that can be applied to anyone, like fortune cookies. These are probably, I'm sorry to say, not legitimate profiles. Beware.
The problem is that an online dating profile should be used as a baseline to test compatibility. You're not trying to sell yourself, and you're not trying to hire someone – you're trying to find a friend. And whether you know it or not, an unbalanced profile is sending one very large message: if the writing is one-sided, we probably wouldn't be able to have a good conversation, either. And thus, the reader moves on.
Luckily, checking for balance in your profile is something that's very simple to do. You don't even have to reread every word – just scan it for sections. Do you spend maybe two paragraphs on yourself and one on your dream match, or two on yourself and eight on your match? It doesn't have to be exactly equal, but you should be able to easily tell if something is off. Give it a try – bringing a little extra balance into your life could bring rewards.
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