Is Online Dating Too Easy?

Advice
  • Thursday, May 16 2013 @ 06:53 am
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The 21st century is all about simplicity. The easier and more automated we can make an experience, the more we seem to love it. And the shorter, the better. Does anyone even blog anymore? Now it's all about 140 character Tweets, Tumblr-style microblogging, and 6 second Vine videos.

It was only a matter of time before our short attention spans took their toll on online dating. More and more singles are turning to mobile dating instead, which offers an even more simplified experience than online dating sites. New dating apps are launching all the time, causing some to worry: Is online dating becoming too easy?

First there was Grindr, the uber-popular dating app for gay men that currently claims over six million users worldwide. The premise behind Grindr isn't complicated: Why spend waste time at bars or filling out dating profiles when you can quickly and conveniently browse the pictures of singles nearby?

Then came Blendr, a similar app that attempted to recreate the Grindr experience (but with more of a focus on friendship and shared interests) for hetero couples. Blendr merged with Badoo, but still failed to achieve the success of its predecessor. Grindr works - Blendr doesn't quite.

In the wake of Blendr came Tinder, one of the newest additions to the mobile market. Tinder picked up where previous mobile apps left off, requiring members to sign in using their Facebook accounts to reduce instances of fake profiles and catfishing. Tinder users are then sent profile pics to respond to (swipe left if you're interested, swipe right if you're not), and are only allowed to contact each other if both members mutually indicate interest.

Those three apps are far from alone in the mobile dating world. There is the scandalous and infamous Bang With Friends. There's TrintMe, which claims to reveal your friends true intentions. There's also WouldLove2 and EmbarrassNot, the latter of which breaks all your acquaintances down into one of four basic categories:

  • I'd like to go on a date with this person
  • I'd like an Advanced relationship with this person
  • I'd like to start a family with this person
  • I'd like to break up with this person

Sure, it's all convenient. But is it too convenient? Transparency online doesn't seem to correlate to equal transparency and courage in in-person interactions. Through the filter of technology, we often present ourselves in ways we wouldn't offline. We feel safe - safe from rejection, safe to say cruel things we wouldn't otherwise, safe to act in ways we wouldn't dare act in person.

Studies have shown that people value things less when they're too easy. Other studies have shown that being presented with too many choices overwhelms us, making us choose nothing at all. If mobile dating gives us too many options too easily, we may be just as single after the app as we were before it.