In the Harsh Glare of the Flourescent Lights
- Sunday, February 21 2010 @ 09:39 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 2,414
Usually, I like to talk about sending the wrong message in our online profiles. Today, however, I'd like to talk about sending the wrong message in person. I'm not talking about what you do on a date; I mean the literal equivalent of the online profile: the first impression.
The first impression is difficult to remember when you're out and about in everyday errands. Unlike the online profile, where you can toil away until it's word-perfect, or the weekend prowl, where you can ensure you look your best, finding a date is typically the last thing on your mind when you're going to the grocery store or the post office.
I'm not even talking about clothes and makeup. Despite what some makeover shows like to preach, no one really expects a catwalk-ready group of men and women at the grocery store. Heck, there are some days when I'm lucky I remember to check that my hair is combed before I set out to do the weekly shopping. No, what I'm talking about has more to do with how we carry ourselves, the expressions on our faces.
Imagine two women. Both are comparably attractive. One is very well put-together, sleek and sophisticated. The other... her hair is thrown into a sloppy ponytail and she clearly stuffed her feet into whatever shoes she had on-hand. However, the disheveled girl looks like she's actually enjoying her shopping, and when she becomes aware that she's being checked out, she glances over and gives a sunny smile. The sophisticated woman has her lips set in a permanent sour purse, and when she feels someone looking at her, she quickly snaps her head in the opposite direction and stalks off. Now, which woman would you be more interested in for a date? Or even as a potential friend?
It's quite possible that the sophisticated woman is not as cold as she seems. Maybe that's the look she gets when she's thinking about something else. Maybe she's had a rough day. But maybe it's just a bad habit that her face has settled into – one that can be broken.
So next time you're out doing mundane tasks, think about the nonverbal messages you're sending. Are you curt, or friendly? Do you cut off any attempts at conversation? Are you the master of answering a question in three words or less? Are you hunched over and brooding? These messages can be much more important than what clothes you're wearing – or, if you're lucky, even whether your hair is combed.
The first impression is difficult to remember when you're out and about in everyday errands. Unlike the online profile, where you can toil away until it's word-perfect, or the weekend prowl, where you can ensure you look your best, finding a date is typically the last thing on your mind when you're going to the grocery store or the post office.
I'm not even talking about clothes and makeup. Despite what some makeover shows like to preach, no one really expects a catwalk-ready group of men and women at the grocery store. Heck, there are some days when I'm lucky I remember to check that my hair is combed before I set out to do the weekly shopping. No, what I'm talking about has more to do with how we carry ourselves, the expressions on our faces.
Imagine two women. Both are comparably attractive. One is very well put-together, sleek and sophisticated. The other... her hair is thrown into a sloppy ponytail and she clearly stuffed her feet into whatever shoes she had on-hand. However, the disheveled girl looks like she's actually enjoying her shopping, and when she becomes aware that she's being checked out, she glances over and gives a sunny smile. The sophisticated woman has her lips set in a permanent sour purse, and when she feels someone looking at her, she quickly snaps her head in the opposite direction and stalks off. Now, which woman would you be more interested in for a date? Or even as a potential friend?
It's quite possible that the sophisticated woman is not as cold as she seems. Maybe that's the look she gets when she's thinking about something else. Maybe she's had a rough day. But maybe it's just a bad habit that her face has settled into – one that can be broken.
So next time you're out doing mundane tasks, think about the nonverbal messages you're sending. Are you curt, or friendly? Do you cut off any attempts at conversation? Are you the master of answering a question in three words or less? Are you hunched over and brooding? These messages can be much more important than what clothes you're wearing – or, if you're lucky, even whether your hair is combed.
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