Humor: Why It's Number One and Why That Doesn't Matter
- Saturday, December 22 2012 @ 08:34 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 986
Check out almost any online dating profile and you’ll probably notice that when it comes to qualities that people look for, a sense of humor rates almost at the top of the list. If one were to be completely honest, attractiveness probably ranks first for most, but you probably won’t see that listed (and it’s kind of a given anyway). Thus “being funny” becomes even more important. And what a coincidence: most people state in their self-summaries that they are, in fact, terrifically funny. Worse, they often try to prove it.
In general, there’s nothing wrong with trying to “show” instead of “tell” in your profile; it’s recommended, in fact. But while it can be easy to “show” some traits by listing facts instead of making claims (like bringing up your extensive charity work in lieu of saying you’re kind or compassionate), it’s much harder to have “evidence” of your sense of humor, unless you’re a successful, working comedian. So people try to gain credibility by being funny in their profile. This is almost always a mistake.
There are a few problems, actually. First of all, so much is involved in comedy - facial expressions, timing, the tone of voice - that is next to impossible to recreate in text. It’s entirely possible you’re hilarious in person, but if you’re not experienced in comedic writing, you might not come across in remotely the same way.
Next, even at the best of times, comedy is highly subjective. Check out any popular comedian and chances are you can easily find someone who can’t understand why this unfunny person ever got famous. Even if you’re in fabulous form on your profile, you’re still running the risk that the reader won’t “get” you (which you also do in person, but at least you’re expending considerably less effort and there’s less risk).
Finally, you’re attempting to be funny on command, about a specific subject. Not an easy task - ask the writers for any awards-show host. Again, even if you’re absolutely hysterical most of the time, these aren’t great conditions for anyone.
So what do you do? Instead of trying to “prove” your comedic worth, or making claims about your amazing reputation, try the understated approach. Say that you appreciate comedy, or mention that you’d like to find someone with a similar sense of humor. Maybe you could list some of your favorite books, TV shows or movies that match your “style.” Just as you wouldn’t try to convince someone you’re really attractive, don’t go overboard convincing them of funniness - it practically falls under the broad header of “chemistry,” and is best experienced in person, anyway.
Oh, and whatever you do, don’t try to explain or describe your sense of humor, either (like “sarcastic” or “witty” or “impressions”). After all, as any truly funny person knows, you’ve already sunk when you try to explain yourself.
In general, there’s nothing wrong with trying to “show” instead of “tell” in your profile; it’s recommended, in fact. But while it can be easy to “show” some traits by listing facts instead of making claims (like bringing up your extensive charity work in lieu of saying you’re kind or compassionate), it’s much harder to have “evidence” of your sense of humor, unless you’re a successful, working comedian. So people try to gain credibility by being funny in their profile. This is almost always a mistake.
There are a few problems, actually. First of all, so much is involved in comedy - facial expressions, timing, the tone of voice - that is next to impossible to recreate in text. It’s entirely possible you’re hilarious in person, but if you’re not experienced in comedic writing, you might not come across in remotely the same way.
Next, even at the best of times, comedy is highly subjective. Check out any popular comedian and chances are you can easily find someone who can’t understand why this unfunny person ever got famous. Even if you’re in fabulous form on your profile, you’re still running the risk that the reader won’t “get” you (which you also do in person, but at least you’re expending considerably less effort and there’s less risk).
Finally, you’re attempting to be funny on command, about a specific subject. Not an easy task - ask the writers for any awards-show host. Again, even if you’re absolutely hysterical most of the time, these aren’t great conditions for anyone.
So what do you do? Instead of trying to “prove” your comedic worth, or making claims about your amazing reputation, try the understated approach. Say that you appreciate comedy, or mention that you’d like to find someone with a similar sense of humor. Maybe you could list some of your favorite books, TV shows or movies that match your “style.” Just as you wouldn’t try to convince someone you’re really attractive, don’t go overboard convincing them of funniness - it practically falls under the broad header of “chemistry,” and is best experienced in person, anyway.
Oh, and whatever you do, don’t try to explain or describe your sense of humor, either (like “sarcastic” or “witty” or “impressions”). After all, as any truly funny person knows, you’ve already sunk when you try to explain yourself.
Subscribe
