How Do You Gracefully Reject an Online Date?

Advice
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Online dating can take a lot of time and effort. In addition to posting your photos, writing your profile, and searching through matches, you can get a lot of emails or questions to sort through. It's almost necessary to be efficient.

So if someone emails you and you're not interested, what do you do? Do you ignore the email, sending it to the trash and hoping the person gets the hint and doesn't write again? Or do you respond, apologizing for your busy schedule and trying to delay any kind of initial meeting with more excuses? Sometimes worrying about what to do can take more time and energy than anything else.

Rejecting one of your online matches can be even more difficult if you've already had that first coffee date. Let's say you'd exchanged some emails, and the conversation was pleasant enough. But you just weren't interested - the chemistry wasn't there and you didn't want to go out with him again. Unfortunately, he had a different experience. He emailed you back right away, wanting to set up another date for the weekend, eager to see you again. You left the email sitting in your inbox, uncertain of how to gently let him down.

While rejection can be hard, it's a necessary part of online dating. Just be considerate and treat your matches with respect. You have to remember, this isn't a break-up. This is someone you just met, so there are no emotional ties to consider. And think about this: if someone you just met wasn't interested in you, wouldn't you rather know quickly so you could move on?

My suggestion: if someone took the time to read your profile and send you a thoughtful email, it's a good idea to respond. And if you've already been on a first date I think it's necessary. Keep your response brief and polite: "Thank you for your email/ it was nice to meet you, but I don't think we're a good match. Good luck with your search." You don't have to respond with more information than that, or an apology, or an excuse for why you feel this way. You don't want to leave the door open for conversation.

Remember, try not to take online dating so personally. It's a way to meet new people, but it doesn't mean that you'll click, get along with, or even understand most of the people you meet. Rejection is part of the process, so remember to let your dates know how you feel (firmly but kindly). Also, don't get down on yourself if someone else rejects you. It's not a reflection of who you are, it's that you didn't click with a particular person. Take heart and move on.