How Do I Break Up With My Boyfriend?

Are you in a relationship that seems over, but you're having a hard time breaking things off? Many people don't like being the dumper because of the guilt associated with ending a relationship, especially if you still love and care for your partner. But if it's over in your heart, you have a responsibility to let the other person know. Easier said than done, I know.

Instead of avoiding the difficult conversation, it's best to own up to your feelings. Chances are, your partner has sensed something's amiss. And if you're cheating? Then they probably either already know or suspect.

The key is to be loving and kind, but also resolute in your break-up. There's no use promising to give your relationship another chance if in your heart you've already moved on. However, if you're married and you haven't given things a real chance (i.e. been to therapy or some type of counseling), then I advise you to try, especially if you have children.

Following are some steps to take:

Plan a time to talk without interruptions. It's best if you can break-up with someone face-to-face, but if you're afraid you can't handle it, then initiate a phone call. Don't break up over text or email or Facebook or anything else where there is no real sense of closure or a conversation. Respect your partner and have some courage.

Focus on the big picture. Maybe his habits have driven you crazy - like when he leaves all his dishes in the sink without washing them or that he spends twelve hours every Saturday playing video games. Instead, think about why you don't connect with him emotionally anymore - that you've grown apart, that you feel you are two different people, or whatever the case may be. Don't make it about the little things.

Be kind. There's no need to get dramatic or list off the things that have made you angry in the past. Focus on what you want right now, which is a break. Remind him that you care for him, but you just don't think it will work out in the long run.

Don't slip back into it. Once you've broken up, make the separation clear. Don't remain friends who call each other every day or occasionally hook up. Give each other the time and space to heal and move on. You can't do that if you're still keeping each other on the back burner because you're lonely. I also suggest de-friending on Facebook, or at least have a policy where you wait a few weeks before posting pictures of your fun nights of partying or of your new boyfriend. Allow for closure.