Gun-Shy About Online Dating?
- Friday, September 24 2010 @ 12:51 pm
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,725
I know a guy who used to use an online dating site. Last week I ran into him and asked him how it was going.
“Oh, I'm not using that site anymore,” he said. “Actually, I'm not doing online dating at all.”
When I asked him why, he replied, “Well, I had a really bad date, so it sort of put me off online dating.”
This is not uncommon to hear, but it's always disappointing. “But wait!” I always want to say. “If you met someone in a bar and it didn't go well, would this put you off bars forever? Or, better yet, dating altogether?” Though the online dating stigma may be fading, it's a sad fact that many users are still a little gun-shy.
So, what if you're one of these nervous Nellies, or you know one? What can you do to calm your nerves about online dating?
Well, first of all, remember that dating is something that is constantly in flux, just like any socialization is. What worked for your grandparents or parents might not work for you – after all, I don't think there are many taffy pulls going on nowadays, and there are still some roller rinks, but not many discotheques. Nowadays, there are tons of dating alternatives – singles nights, singles bars, speed dating – online dating is just one of them.
Additionally, online dating is a fairly traditional way to date. Sure, you might not have met in person, but it's still an old-fashioned method: try to find someone who appeals to you in some way, attempt to start up some form of communication, and if the feeling's mutual, go from there. Relationships have probably been forming in this way, more or less, since cave men grunted at each other. Don't be intimidated by the high-tech trappings.
Finally, remember that one profile or meeting is not indicative of the hundreds of thousands of users out there! That would be like saying one bad driver is representative of everyone else out on the road. Just as you're probably not compatible with every random person you might meet on a Saturday at the mall, you're probably not compatible with every person you meet through online dating. However, online dating has the benefit of at least being able to search out common interests, lifestyles and goals – all without one bad bit of small talk.
And remember – online dating is not a root canal! You're searching for a new friend; it's exciting! Have fun with it, and good luck!
“Oh, I'm not using that site anymore,” he said. “Actually, I'm not doing online dating at all.”
When I asked him why, he replied, “Well, I had a really bad date, so it sort of put me off online dating.”
This is not uncommon to hear, but it's always disappointing. “But wait!” I always want to say. “If you met someone in a bar and it didn't go well, would this put you off bars forever? Or, better yet, dating altogether?” Though the online dating stigma may be fading, it's a sad fact that many users are still a little gun-shy.
So, what if you're one of these nervous Nellies, or you know one? What can you do to calm your nerves about online dating?
Well, first of all, remember that dating is something that is constantly in flux, just like any socialization is. What worked for your grandparents or parents might not work for you – after all, I don't think there are many taffy pulls going on nowadays, and there are still some roller rinks, but not many discotheques. Nowadays, there are tons of dating alternatives – singles nights, singles bars, speed dating – online dating is just one of them.
Additionally, online dating is a fairly traditional way to date. Sure, you might not have met in person, but it's still an old-fashioned method: try to find someone who appeals to you in some way, attempt to start up some form of communication, and if the feeling's mutual, go from there. Relationships have probably been forming in this way, more or less, since cave men grunted at each other. Don't be intimidated by the high-tech trappings.
Finally, remember that one profile or meeting is not indicative of the hundreds of thousands of users out there! That would be like saying one bad driver is representative of everyone else out on the road. Just as you're probably not compatible with every random person you might meet on a Saturday at the mall, you're probably not compatible with every person you meet through online dating. However, online dating has the benefit of at least being able to search out common interests, lifestyles and goals – all without one bad bit of small talk.
And remember – online dating is not a root canal! You're searching for a new friend; it's exciting! Have fun with it, and good luck!
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