Giving A Little Extra Thought
- Thursday, June 30 2011 @ 01:28 pm
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,287
In online dating, we’re encouraged to make quick decisions, to rely on first impressions and gut instinct. For the most part, this makes sense within the context of the format; a profile has theoretically been edited and should represent one of the best first impressions one can make. Often people who utilize online dating sites have busy or irregular schedules, and a simple “yes” or “no” works best for their lifestyle. And let’s not discount the value of a gut reaction - more often than not, a strong feeling of like or dislike pays off in the end.
So who doesn’t benefit from a quick decision? The people that don’t elicit strong reactions one way or the other, for one. Remember, though we’re encouraged to make snap decisions, the jury’s still out on whether love at first sight truly exists. It’s easy to make a decision when you clearly have strong chemistry, or you’re clearly offended, but how do you know when there’s room for your relationship to grow?
It’s also important to remember that though online dating profiles have been meticulously polished and given the best presentation, the same can’t be said when you meet in person. Maybe you’re having a bad day and you’re feeling particularly critical. Maybe the same could be said for your potential match. Maybe someone’s coming down with a cold and is having difficulty focusing. In a “real time” situation, snap judgments aren’t quite as reliable.
So what do you do if you’re on the fence? First, evaluate your feelings carefully. Do you feel you’re being truly fair, or were you distracted and cross on your date? Are you truly on the fence, or do you just dislike having to reject someone? If you’re just feeling guilty about having to be the “bad guy,” do yourself and your potential match a favor and end it sooner than later - you’ll save a lot of confusion and awkwardness for the both of you.
If, however, you think you might benefit from another chance, go ahead and give it a shot. If the situation doesn’t improve, you’ll know you’re making the right decision. Regardless of the outcome, one extra date isn’t a bad tradeoff for the peace of a firm decision.
So who doesn’t benefit from a quick decision? The people that don’t elicit strong reactions one way or the other, for one. Remember, though we’re encouraged to make snap decisions, the jury’s still out on whether love at first sight truly exists. It’s easy to make a decision when you clearly have strong chemistry, or you’re clearly offended, but how do you know when there’s room for your relationship to grow?
It’s also important to remember that though online dating profiles have been meticulously polished and given the best presentation, the same can’t be said when you meet in person. Maybe you’re having a bad day and you’re feeling particularly critical. Maybe the same could be said for your potential match. Maybe someone’s coming down with a cold and is having difficulty focusing. In a “real time” situation, snap judgments aren’t quite as reliable.
So what do you do if you’re on the fence? First, evaluate your feelings carefully. Do you feel you’re being truly fair, or were you distracted and cross on your date? Are you truly on the fence, or do you just dislike having to reject someone? If you’re just feeling guilty about having to be the “bad guy,” do yourself and your potential match a favor and end it sooner than later - you’ll save a lot of confusion and awkwardness for the both of you.
If, however, you think you might benefit from another chance, go ahead and give it a shot. If the situation doesn’t improve, you’ll know you’re making the right decision. Regardless of the outcome, one extra date isn’t a bad tradeoff for the peace of a firm decision.
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