Getting Comfortable
- Wednesday, May 25 2011 @ 02:58 pm
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,194
If you watch movies and television, you might very well have a poor perception of relationships. See, people who are happy and in long-term relationships don’t provide much drama; they don’t move the plot along. So, writers tend to kill them off, or break them up. When they’re not doing that, they use the “hum-drum reality” of a long-term relationship to stifle the main character and cause them to either break down or change their life. In the eyes of Hollywood, the worst place you can be is in the suburbs, married, unless a murder is on the way.
Due precisely to these sort of depictions of relationships, I’ve known people who were excessively worried about their love lives becoming “too comfortable, too quickly.” A friend of mine, Ruth, spoke to me about it yesterday.
“Now, what do you mean, comfortable?” I asked.
“Oh, you know,” she said. “Some days and times are exciting, but the rest of the time it’s all burp jokes and video games and Chinese food.”
“And are any of these things bad?”
“Well, no,” she admitted. “Actually, they’re fun.”
What I told Ruth - and what I believe to be true - is that the “excitement” in a relationship rarely dwindles away into nothing. What she was describing was essentially what life in a relationship is like. Some days, some times are exciting. Other times are fun and “comfortable,” content. Some days there are even arguments or stress. What I’d look for is a relationship where the fun and content outweighs everything else. You’re not looking for a manic life, where everything is amazing; you want to be able to relax, and enjoy life with a partner who truly makes you feel, well, comfortable.
Sure, not all parts of a relationship are the sweeping romance you see on the big screen. However, neither do they then necessarily devolve into drudgery. Instead of worrying whether your relationship matches those of Hollywood, why not follow your own story?
Due precisely to these sort of depictions of relationships, I’ve known people who were excessively worried about their love lives becoming “too comfortable, too quickly.” A friend of mine, Ruth, spoke to me about it yesterday.
“Now, what do you mean, comfortable?” I asked.
“Oh, you know,” she said. “Some days and times are exciting, but the rest of the time it’s all burp jokes and video games and Chinese food.”
“And are any of these things bad?”
“Well, no,” she admitted. “Actually, they’re fun.”
What I told Ruth - and what I believe to be true - is that the “excitement” in a relationship rarely dwindles away into nothing. What she was describing was essentially what life in a relationship is like. Some days, some times are exciting. Other times are fun and “comfortable,” content. Some days there are even arguments or stress. What I’d look for is a relationship where the fun and content outweighs everything else. You’re not looking for a manic life, where everything is amazing; you want to be able to relax, and enjoy life with a partner who truly makes you feel, well, comfortable.
Sure, not all parts of a relationship are the sweeping romance you see on the big screen. However, neither do they then necessarily devolve into drudgery. Instead of worrying whether your relationship matches those of Hollywood, why not follow your own story?
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