When Things Get Rolling, Don't Veer Off-Course
- Tuesday, June 28 2011 @ 09:21 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,257
A friend of mine, “Rob,” has been familiar with the world of online dating for some time. He’s a pro at first-contact emails, and he’s been no stranger to first dates, either. Yet, none of them have seemed to have that “spark” in person, from either side, so he’s becoming a pro at shaking those first dates off and moving on, too. In general, Rob is as laid-back and unflappable as they come.
Until now.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen him in such a state. He’s about to go on his second date, and he’s terrified. Emails have not been a problem. His first “date” - an ulra-quick meeting at a coffee shop - apparently had enough of a spark that they’re both keen to know more. It’s going as smoothly as it possibly can - and Rob’s a puddle of nerves.
“This is the first one where I feel like there’s actually the potential for something more,” he confessed. “The others were nice people, maybe they’d make good acquaintances or friends, but this is the first time I’ve had real chemistry. The stakes are more real, now.”
Maybe Rob’s right, but now is not the time for his head to get in the way of his relationships. If the “reality” of the situation puts you in a similar state of panic, repeat after me: “This is not my only shot at happiness. This is not my only shot at a relationship.” Because it’s not. First of all, you don’t need a significant other for happiness. Secondly, if you don’t believe in destiny, you’ll know that there’s many options and people that would make good matches. And if you do... well, obviously you’re destined to be with someone else.
Maybe a particular person puts you in a tizzy, and you really want things to work out, more than you have with other potential matches. That doesn’t mean you should forget what you’re doing: going on a first date, just like any other. A simple first meeting. A long-term relationship isn’t created in one date, no matter how strong the chemistry. Take things one day at a time, let the relationship car drive itself without your doubts veering you off-course, and regardless of the outcome, you’ll have minimal regrets.
Until now.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen him in such a state. He’s about to go on his second date, and he’s terrified. Emails have not been a problem. His first “date” - an ulra-quick meeting at a coffee shop - apparently had enough of a spark that they’re both keen to know more. It’s going as smoothly as it possibly can - and Rob’s a puddle of nerves.
“This is the first one where I feel like there’s actually the potential for something more,” he confessed. “The others were nice people, maybe they’d make good acquaintances or friends, but this is the first time I’ve had real chemistry. The stakes are more real, now.”
Maybe Rob’s right, but now is not the time for his head to get in the way of his relationships. If the “reality” of the situation puts you in a similar state of panic, repeat after me: “This is not my only shot at happiness. This is not my only shot at a relationship.” Because it’s not. First of all, you don’t need a significant other for happiness. Secondly, if you don’t believe in destiny, you’ll know that there’s many options and people that would make good matches. And if you do... well, obviously you’re destined to be with someone else.
Maybe a particular person puts you in a tizzy, and you really want things to work out, more than you have with other potential matches. That doesn’t mean you should forget what you’re doing: going on a first date, just like any other. A simple first meeting. A long-term relationship isn’t created in one date, no matter how strong the chemistry. Take things one day at a time, let the relationship car drive itself without your doubts veering you off-course, and regardless of the outcome, you’ll have minimal regrets.
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