How to Get Over the Cheating from a Past Relationship

You've taken that first monumental step after an emotional break-up and joined an online dating site. If you've already met someone with relationship potential, don't panic. It's one thing to start dating again after a break-up, but quite another to find someone special. It's hard to think of entering into a new relationship when you could be hurt again.

If your last love cheated, then it's a lot harder to take that next step. You might prefer keeping your guy at a distance so you don't have to think about his fidelity (or even yours for that matter). But what if by doing this you're robbing yourself of a chance for real love?

Instead of shying away from anyone with relationship potential, try addressing your fears first. Chances are, you've learned a thing or two, and know what it takes to make a relationship work. Following are a few tips to help you get beyond the hurts of your past relationship and move forward into a positive new love life:

Communicate. Everyone has a different communication style. Some people are more open to talk about their feelings than others. However, it's important to set a precedent at the beginning to really listen to each other so both of you feel heard. It's also important to let your new love know that your ex cheated, so you aren't hiding any fears of the same thing happening again. Be willing to talk and share, and let your date know that you hear his concerns, too.

Notice whether his actions match his words. If he says he is faithful and follows it up with appropriate behavior - i.e. he doesn't party and stay out with his friends on the weekends, he calls you just to say hi, he doesn't act cold or distant with you, and he doesn't blame you for his unhappiness - then it's important to take a leap of faith here and start building your trust in him. One step at a time.

Be open with each other. If you hide what you're feeling, you're giving your boyfriend the green light to hide things, too. It's good to talk about the hard things and ask the tough questions instead of trying to placate each other to avoid fights.

Change your pattern. If you immediately jump to the conclusion that he's looking at or thinking of someone else, then you're going to look for evidence of it. This is more damaging than if the cheating were really happening, because how many of us can live freely and happily if we're constantly defending ourselves? Instead, take a step back and assess the situation for what it is, not for what you fear it will become. Learn to trust.

Take a leap of faith. Sometimes, that's all that is required to move on. We have to trust that most people will not deceive or intentionally hurt us. We have to move past our fears to get what we want.