Do “Friends with Benefits” Relationships Work?

Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake star in the movie Friends with Benefits, and while I'm sure the movie has a happy ending for them, does it work in real life?

Friends with benefits relationships are tricky things. If one person starts to feel romantic it can upset the delicate balance. What if the other person meets someone special, and you end up hurt and confused?

For the most part, I think we romanticize these types of relationships and think that we can turn emotions on and off like a faucet. But the reality is more complex, which is why it's hard to stay friends with someone once the benefits part goes away.

If you are considering starting this kind of relationship, here are some questions you can ask yourself to make sure of your intentions and that you're prepared for whatever may come your way:

Am I looking for a long-term relationship? It is almost impossible to open yourself up to a potential long-term partner if you are physically involved with someone else, even a friend. People pick up on the fact you're not 100% available, and you tend to attract guys and girls who don't want to commit. You close yourself off to meeting some potential long-term prospects when you're not 100% available.

Can I handle my friend wanting to be with another girl? This is for the women out there who may secretly be harboring a crush on the friend without knowing it. If you are okay with losing your "benefits" status, or with hearing about the "awesome sex with my new girlfriend", then go for it.

Can my friend handle ME wanting to be with someone else? Okay, so maybe you don't have feelings for your friend. But what about him? Maybe he secretly is hoping that you will see how wonderful he is and end up committing to him. Maybe he'll get pissed off when you mention dates with other guys. Make sure that you clear the air with him before you get involved.

Have I been in this situation before, and it didn't really work for me? I'll caution you against telling yourself "THIS friend is DIFFERENT". Likely, he isn't, and you already know that you didn't react well to things going south last time. Don't think this is going to be different.

Bottom line? Know what you want and communicate it. If you don't want a long-term relationship, if you aren't looking for anything serious and you are very clear with your friend and he agrees, then go for it. If not, I'd strongly caution you.

The key to a "friends with benefits" relationship working is making sure you are both on the same page, and that you keep the lines of communication open for when things change. Because they will...it won't last. Be clear about your expectations. Communication is key.