Doing Your Homework
- Monday, July 29 2013 @ 08:56 pm
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,239
Falling in love is portrayed as many things: sudden, impetuous, unexpected, serendipitous. A roller coaster of emotion. These are the things we expect, based on stories we’ve heard, books we’ve read and movies we’ve seen. As such, sometimes people are hesitant to try online dating because they feel it might be the opposite - or when they do decide to sign up, some do it in the most spur-of-the-moment, impetuous way possible. Editing? Doing research? That all sounds like homework, some might say.
Maybe, in a way, it is. But here’s why you don’t need to worry about losing the spark of spontaneity if you decide to try online dating: because the falling in love doesn’t happen through a profile. And just as you might research a venue before a first date, or review a movie to ensure it’s not inappropriate for budding love, doing your online dating homework can help ensure a smoother path for your emotional roller coaster.
For example, some people might just choose an online dating site at random. While that’s not always bad, and sometimes you’ll find duplicate profiles across sites anyway, checking out a few other sites certainly never hurts. You might find that the people in your area tend to favor one site over another, or that the profiles present information in a way you find more intuitive or inspiring. Perhaps people with your niche interests all seem to congregate at one particular site. Feeling comfortable with a site can make or break the experience for some. You don’t have to feel like you need to belong to every site out there, but it doesn’t hurt to make sure you’re as comfortable as you could be.
When you start browsing sites, chances are you’ll be reading profiles. After just a handful of them, you’ll probably start to notice patterns or cliches. Maybe you’ll notice a profile that stands out as “different” or particularly appealing. Channel your inner student and take notes! So many people later feel their first draft was so generic; why not skip over that step and figure out how to set yourself apart a little sooner? Also, don’t forget to maintain your profile over time - just because that movie reference felt right six months ago doesn’t necessarily mean it does now. Editing and maintenance might seem like a chore, but it’s a worthy one.
Remember, the point of a profile is find new people to meet than you otherwise wouldn’t have. And, ultimately, the “how-you-met” part isn’t really the most exciting part of the story. It’s a jumping-off point, but it only gains importance because of what came later: the butterflies, the ups and downs, the real story. Doing your homework might not seem particularly spontaneous, but it only helps you find that person more easily.
Maybe, in a way, it is. But here’s why you don’t need to worry about losing the spark of spontaneity if you decide to try online dating: because the falling in love doesn’t happen through a profile. And just as you might research a venue before a first date, or review a movie to ensure it’s not inappropriate for budding love, doing your online dating homework can help ensure a smoother path for your emotional roller coaster.
For example, some people might just choose an online dating site at random. While that’s not always bad, and sometimes you’ll find duplicate profiles across sites anyway, checking out a few other sites certainly never hurts. You might find that the people in your area tend to favor one site over another, or that the profiles present information in a way you find more intuitive or inspiring. Perhaps people with your niche interests all seem to congregate at one particular site. Feeling comfortable with a site can make or break the experience for some. You don’t have to feel like you need to belong to every site out there, but it doesn’t hurt to make sure you’re as comfortable as you could be.
When you start browsing sites, chances are you’ll be reading profiles. After just a handful of them, you’ll probably start to notice patterns or cliches. Maybe you’ll notice a profile that stands out as “different” or particularly appealing. Channel your inner student and take notes! So many people later feel their first draft was so generic; why not skip over that step and figure out how to set yourself apart a little sooner? Also, don’t forget to maintain your profile over time - just because that movie reference felt right six months ago doesn’t necessarily mean it does now. Editing and maintenance might seem like a chore, but it’s a worthy one.
Remember, the point of a profile is find new people to meet than you otherwise wouldn’t have. And, ultimately, the “how-you-met” part isn’t really the most exciting part of the story. It’s a jumping-off point, but it only gains importance because of what came later: the butterflies, the ups and downs, the real story. Doing your homework might not seem particularly spontaneous, but it only helps you find that person more easily.
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