Don't Be Jealous - Take Notes!
- Monday, April 19 2010 @ 11:54 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 2,272
When you're single, it's easy to be critical of the relationships around you. How many times have you been at a wedding and heard the mutterings of “I'll give them five years”? (No one, I'm the only one acquainted with such terrible people? Great.) It's easy to look at a couple, shake your head and say, “I have no idea why they're together.” Much harder is observing a couple and noting what they're doing right. However, it's that very skill that could be vital to our own future relationships.
How do we know how to behave in long-term relationships? How do we know what's “normal” or acceptable? How do we gain the skills to navigate something like a marriage? Well, a major part of it is observing other long-term relationships: our parents, our grandparents, our siblings.
Here's the thing, though: we don't all have elders that have successful marriages. In fact, it's equally as likely that we don't. So if we can't look to our parents for a good example of a long-term relationship, what do we do?
We pay attention to the relationships around us that do seem to be working, and we take note of what makes them tick.
Sometimes we get unfortunate surprises – that couple that seemed just picture-perfect turns out to have a toxic relationship under the surface, or there are compromises made that are just too extreme for you. Just as frequent, however, are the interesting insights – that fighting can be okay if it's really just communication at top-volume. Longevity is certainly a helpful barometer for identifying a successful relationship, but it's not the only one; we've all heard of unhappy marriages that last for decades, and some of the same lessons can be learned from a couple that's been together for six months or sixty years.
The key here is not to dwell on the relationships around you that are negative, but to focus on the successful ones. Not only could it potentially teach you a few lessons, it just might leave you feeling more positive about relationships in general. Best of all, it could help you identify a truly great opportunity if – and when – it presents itself.
How do we know how to behave in long-term relationships? How do we know what's “normal” or acceptable? How do we gain the skills to navigate something like a marriage? Well, a major part of it is observing other long-term relationships: our parents, our grandparents, our siblings.
Here's the thing, though: we don't all have elders that have successful marriages. In fact, it's equally as likely that we don't. So if we can't look to our parents for a good example of a long-term relationship, what do we do?
We pay attention to the relationships around us that do seem to be working, and we take note of what makes them tick.
Sometimes we get unfortunate surprises – that couple that seemed just picture-perfect turns out to have a toxic relationship under the surface, or there are compromises made that are just too extreme for you. Just as frequent, however, are the interesting insights – that fighting can be okay if it's really just communication at top-volume. Longevity is certainly a helpful barometer for identifying a successful relationship, but it's not the only one; we've all heard of unhappy marriages that last for decades, and some of the same lessons can be learned from a couple that's been together for six months or sixty years.
The key here is not to dwell on the relationships around you that are negative, but to focus on the successful ones. Not only could it potentially teach you a few lessons, it just might leave you feeling more positive about relationships in general. Best of all, it could help you identify a truly great opportunity if – and when – it presents itself.
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