Dating the Person, Not the Activity
- Thursday, February 17 2011 @ 09:15 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,354
Dating is a peculiar way to start a relationship, when you think about it. You’re essentially making a special occasion out of each time you meet - which is great, and why not celebrate the beginning of a great relationship? However, in long-term relationships, the majority of days are the ordinary kind - normal meals, normal clothes, normal nights.
Not to say that normal is boring - but that we should keep normal in mind, too, when we meet people for the first time. Are we looking for someone who is fun to be around when we embark on adventures, or are we looking for someone who sees the fun and adventure in everyday life?
Placing a relationship entirely in any specific setting, whether it’s exciting dates or ballroom dance, can be dangerous. I’ve known people who have limited their dating prospects to people who share specific interests. Ask yourself: what would happen if you grew tired of your hobby? Or if your significant other did? What would you talk about? How would you spend your time?
Perhaps it’s not so important that we start out with a common interest, but that we choose the sort of person with whom we can always find something to share. Someone open to learning something new. Someone who will grow, just as we will grow.
However, there’s nothing wrong with finding someone who shares your interests; a common interest is a great jumping-off point when you’re meeting someone for the first time. You’re given additional conversation topics, and a small instant connection. Dating is certainly easier when you start off with something in common.
But perhaps we place too much emphasis on defining ourselves. Using dating profiles is a great way to get a glimpse at a person, but do you really define yourself by the movies you like or the sports you play? Remember, as you write your first-contact emails and head out on your first dates, that creating a solid relationship is not as simple as sharing a favorite color. We’re all more than just our profiles. Don’t be afraid to show it, and remember to look for it in others.
Not to say that normal is boring - but that we should keep normal in mind, too, when we meet people for the first time. Are we looking for someone who is fun to be around when we embark on adventures, or are we looking for someone who sees the fun and adventure in everyday life?
Placing a relationship entirely in any specific setting, whether it’s exciting dates or ballroom dance, can be dangerous. I’ve known people who have limited their dating prospects to people who share specific interests. Ask yourself: what would happen if you grew tired of your hobby? Or if your significant other did? What would you talk about? How would you spend your time?
Perhaps it’s not so important that we start out with a common interest, but that we choose the sort of person with whom we can always find something to share. Someone open to learning something new. Someone who will grow, just as we will grow.
However, there’s nothing wrong with finding someone who shares your interests; a common interest is a great jumping-off point when you’re meeting someone for the first time. You’re given additional conversation topics, and a small instant connection. Dating is certainly easier when you start off with something in common.
But perhaps we place too much emphasis on defining ourselves. Using dating profiles is a great way to get a glimpse at a person, but do you really define yourself by the movies you like or the sports you play? Remember, as you write your first-contact emails and head out on your first dates, that creating a solid relationship is not as simple as sharing a favorite color. We’re all more than just our profiles. Don’t be afraid to show it, and remember to look for it in others.
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