Dating for the Workaholic
- Wednesday, October 20 2010 @ 09:46 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,643
When you're single, it can be easy to throw yourself into something else – specifically, your career or job. When one aspect of our life isn't going exactly as we'd like, it makes sense that we'd work even harder to find success in another area.
The problem comes when you've decided you'd like to pursue a relationship, but you have no spare time due to your demanding job. You're now in a chicken-and-egg situation: the job, which fills all extra time nicely, leaves little room for anything else, much less the intoxicating demands of a new relationship. How can you break the cycle?
For those not yet in this exact situation, the best advice is to not let it happen in the first place. Don't fill up every available hour with overtime; set aside social time each week, whether it's going somewhere with friends, joining a club, taking a class, or just watching TV when there's nothing else planned. Having some malleable “me” time makes it easier to adjust to new scenarios, whether it's starting a new relationship or getting a pet.
If you want to break an existing cycle, it will require conscious decisions and effort. Many people think, “Oh, I'll just adjust my schedule when the right one comes along.” The problem is, it can be hard to even meet that right one if you're at work all the time. Joining an online dating site is a good solution for those pressed for time, but remember that you'll be going on dates face-to-face, away from the office – hopefully soon. If you're feeling a bit rusty in social situations, try getting out there with friends, or even alone, before you start emailing. Yes, it might take time away from work – but it's worth it.
Remember: as you get deeper into a relationship, different time demands will be made. Not always more; just different. Getting dressed up for a date a few times a week is not the same thing as coming home to a cozy dinner, but they're equally important. Also, remember that a relationship is comprised of two people, each of whom have their own lives and commitments. Merging those two lives isn't always easy. Maybe work will require an adjustment; maybe it won't. Either way, balancing it with a good relationship is worth the challenge.
The problem comes when you've decided you'd like to pursue a relationship, but you have no spare time due to your demanding job. You're now in a chicken-and-egg situation: the job, which fills all extra time nicely, leaves little room for anything else, much less the intoxicating demands of a new relationship. How can you break the cycle?
For those not yet in this exact situation, the best advice is to not let it happen in the first place. Don't fill up every available hour with overtime; set aside social time each week, whether it's going somewhere with friends, joining a club, taking a class, or just watching TV when there's nothing else planned. Having some malleable “me” time makes it easier to adjust to new scenarios, whether it's starting a new relationship or getting a pet.
If you want to break an existing cycle, it will require conscious decisions and effort. Many people think, “Oh, I'll just adjust my schedule when the right one comes along.” The problem is, it can be hard to even meet that right one if you're at work all the time. Joining an online dating site is a good solution for those pressed for time, but remember that you'll be going on dates face-to-face, away from the office – hopefully soon. If you're feeling a bit rusty in social situations, try getting out there with friends, or even alone, before you start emailing. Yes, it might take time away from work – but it's worth it.
Remember: as you get deeper into a relationship, different time demands will be made. Not always more; just different. Getting dressed up for a date a few times a week is not the same thing as coming home to a cozy dinner, but they're equally important. Also, remember that a relationship is comprised of two people, each of whom have their own lives and commitments. Merging those two lives isn't always easy. Maybe work will require an adjustment; maybe it won't. Either way, balancing it with a good relationship is worth the challenge.
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