Dating and Superstition
- Tuesday, March 20 2012 @ 10:02 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,201
There’s so much about dating that we can’t control. We can’t control the feelings of others; we can’t control our own chemistry (try dating someone you’re not attracted to, for instance). We can’t control the size or the quality of the pool of potential matches. And, like civilizations of old, when there’s something we can’t control, we look for small ways to feel like we do. In other words, it’s easy, when you’re in the dating world, to become superstitious.
Sure, we might maintain a sense of logic, and say, “This email approach has worked well in the past, so I’ll go with it again,” but it’s not uncommon to also hear, “I wore this on my last date and it didn’t work out, so I can’t wear it again!” I’ve seen people reject profiles or emails because they just “can’t” date someone of a specific profession or even hair color. And when questioned, there really is no logic behind their conviction, other than superstition.
But superstition can sneak into our dating habits in less obvious, more insidious ways. In a common example, Steve might not mention to friends and family that he’s seeing someone new, because it’s going well and he doesn’t want to “jinx” it. Sally might not want to clarify the depth or exclusivity of her relationship, because things have been going so well and she’s waiting for the “other shoe to drop.”
Sure, there might be some valid reasoning behind these superstitions. For example, it’s natural to be wary about announcing your new relationship to the world if you would be upset about having to tell those same people that it ended. Still, why do we enter into relationships? Is it to walk on eggshells until we’ve reached some magical point?
It’s an unfortunate fact that we don’t control the world, or the future. A relationship could end after two weeks or eighty years. Why not enjoy each day, instead of dampening it with fear and superstition?
Sure, we might maintain a sense of logic, and say, “This email approach has worked well in the past, so I’ll go with it again,” but it’s not uncommon to also hear, “I wore this on my last date and it didn’t work out, so I can’t wear it again!” I’ve seen people reject profiles or emails because they just “can’t” date someone of a specific profession or even hair color. And when questioned, there really is no logic behind their conviction, other than superstition.
But superstition can sneak into our dating habits in less obvious, more insidious ways. In a common example, Steve might not mention to friends and family that he’s seeing someone new, because it’s going well and he doesn’t want to “jinx” it. Sally might not want to clarify the depth or exclusivity of her relationship, because things have been going so well and she’s waiting for the “other shoe to drop.”
Sure, there might be some valid reasoning behind these superstitions. For example, it’s natural to be wary about announcing your new relationship to the world if you would be upset about having to tell those same people that it ended. Still, why do we enter into relationships? Is it to walk on eggshells until we’ve reached some magical point?
It’s an unfortunate fact that we don’t control the world, or the future. A relationship could end after two weeks or eighty years. Why not enjoy each day, instead of dampening it with fear and superstition?
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