Does the Cheating in your Past affect your Current Relationship?

Have you ever cheated on a boyfriend or girlfriend, or been cheated on? Is it hard for you to move on from these past offenses to a healthy new relationship, or are you afraid of the scenario repeating itself?

Infidelity is the cause of many relationships breaking apart. It creates heartache because trust is broken. Betrayal has occurred between you and your partner, and sometimes it is difficult to envision positive, happy future relationships. If you did the cheating, you feel guilty and wonder if you'll stray again. If you were cheated on, it's hard to trust others.

While these emotional hurdles are understandable, it's necessary to move past them in order to form a healthy, new relationship. Following are some steps you can take to face your fears and put your love life on track.

Forgive yourself, forgive your ex. If you're holding on to guilt or anger, it will continue to be part of your life. The only way to truly free yourself is to let go of the resentment you have built up from these past mistakes. Forgive so that you can let go and move on.

Understand why it happened. Was your relationship difficult? Did you find it hard to communicate? Did you feel as though your partner wasn't listening to you or considering your feelings? There are many reasons why people stray, and usually there is a problem in the relationship before the cheating starts. Understand the dynamics of the past relationship, how you communicated, and what you could do differently next time.

Stop judging. Your future partner isn't your ex. Don't make assumptions about his or her behavior based on your past. Again, if you're carrying resentment it's difficult to form a trusting, healthy relationship with any new partner. Instead of expecting the same bad behavior from someone new, be open, honest, and respectful of him or her. Give him a chance to prove himself through behavior as well as words. When you're in a positive place, you can build trust.

Have an open heart. Yes, your trust has been betrayed. You've been hurt. You have every right to be suspicious of your dates, but this doesn't mean it's the healthy approach. Instead of building walls to protect yourself from getting hurt again, or assuming the worst of people, vulnerability is required for love to happen. Focus on what you want in your next relationship: honesty, good communication, happiness, and openness. Know that it is possible to have all of these things. Know that you will.