Be Yourself

Advice
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I often talk about unwittingly sending the wrong messages through our online profile, and it's true that you might want to reread your profile more than once before you post it. However, perhaps it's best to not obsess over every single sentence; the main message you want to send is honesty.

For example, maybe you have an independent, adventurous spirit. You're not afraid to hop into a car and take a road trip, or join a still life class even though you've never drawn anything in your life. However, when it comes time to write your profile, these concrete examples fly out of your head, and you're stumped. Maybe you even remember them, but don't think they sound adventurous or exciting enough. So... you say you'd jump out of a plane or try downhill skiing.

Three months later, you're wondering why all your dates and messages are coming from extreme sports junkies. Where are the people who seek adventure through taking a ghost detection class? Well, maybe they would have been able to find you – if you had only been yourself.

It's true that we want our profiles to make a good first impression; in essence, we want the reader to “discover” us on a “good day” - when we're not grumpy, or tired. We want them to see the best version of our natural selves; what we don't want is to out-and-out pretend to be someone we're not.

Trying to be hipper might get you an extra email, or date. Still, if you're inherently someone different, the incompatibility will be apparent sooner or later. All you've done is waste time that could be spent finding someone who likes the real you.

“Be yourself” may sound like a cliché, but when you're searching for a relationship, you're searching for the most compatible person possible. The only way to achieve that goal, to find someone who truly clicks, is to be comfortable with who you are – and not cloud the issue with white lies.