Balance in a First Date
- Saturday, March 31 2012 @ 07:10 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,773
Let’s say you’ve been chatting with someone through an online dating site, and you’re ready to take the next step: the first date. For some, the idea of an awkward silence is pretty much the worst thing they can imagine; for them, the natural solution is something that keeps you both busy, like a movie or bowling. However, a little silence can be a good thing.
Finding a good venue for a first date is all about striking a balance, finding the perfect blend of intimacy and fun to really get to know one another. Now, every couple is a unique combination of two individuals, so there really is no “right” answer. However, let’s examine some of the more common choices and their pros and cons.
Bowling, at first glance, seems like a viable option. You’re having fun, there’s room for playful competitiveness, and you don’t have to be super athletic so it’s a good middle-of-the-road choice. It’s really not bad - once you’re more comfortable with each other. For a first date, it’s just too busy. Whether you’re in a group or one-on-one, you’ll be constantly in and out of your seats, taking turns. There’s not much time to really get conversation going or feel out the chemistry issue. And bowling alleys are often just too loud to hear one another, especially at night.
At the opposite end of the spectrum is a quiet dinner together. You’re given ample time to speak, and you’re probably facing each other the entire time. You’re given food to eat, so there’s at least a little distraction. However, dinner is not ideal either. For some, eating out can be a headache, particularly if you’ve got major food allergies or restrictions. There’s also a myriad of food issues that can simply make someone self-conscious and distracted. Some might also feel “trapped” at a dinner - there’s not much to distract you if the conversation hits an awkward note.
Mini-golf, on the other hand, walks a middle line fairly well. The skill required is minimal, and it’s easy to be silly about it. It can be taken at whatever pace the couple likes. It’s plenty quiet enough to have a conversation, and there are even opportunities to “help” one another or otherwise test the waters of physical chemistry.
A final option is to create your own combo, tailored to your interests and needs. There’s a reason why “dinner and a movie” became a cliche: while not perfect, it combines intimacy and interest, an ability to hold hands and talk animatedly about what you’ve just seen. You could try stopping for coffee before going to a carnival, or rock climbing followed by dessert. There’s nothing that says you can’t give yourself the best of both worlds.
In choosing a first date, remember to be open with your date, and ask them what they’re up for - the burden shouldn’t fall on only one person. Together, you can find an activity that interests you both. Just remember to consider the balance of your activities; you want ample opportunity for both fun and flirtation!
Finding a good venue for a first date is all about striking a balance, finding the perfect blend of intimacy and fun to really get to know one another. Now, every couple is a unique combination of two individuals, so there really is no “right” answer. However, let’s examine some of the more common choices and their pros and cons.
Bowling, at first glance, seems like a viable option. You’re having fun, there’s room for playful competitiveness, and you don’t have to be super athletic so it’s a good middle-of-the-road choice. It’s really not bad - once you’re more comfortable with each other. For a first date, it’s just too busy. Whether you’re in a group or one-on-one, you’ll be constantly in and out of your seats, taking turns. There’s not much time to really get conversation going or feel out the chemistry issue. And bowling alleys are often just too loud to hear one another, especially at night.
At the opposite end of the spectrum is a quiet dinner together. You’re given ample time to speak, and you’re probably facing each other the entire time. You’re given food to eat, so there’s at least a little distraction. However, dinner is not ideal either. For some, eating out can be a headache, particularly if you’ve got major food allergies or restrictions. There’s also a myriad of food issues that can simply make someone self-conscious and distracted. Some might also feel “trapped” at a dinner - there’s not much to distract you if the conversation hits an awkward note.
Mini-golf, on the other hand, walks a middle line fairly well. The skill required is minimal, and it’s easy to be silly about it. It can be taken at whatever pace the couple likes. It’s plenty quiet enough to have a conversation, and there are even opportunities to “help” one another or otherwise test the waters of physical chemistry.
A final option is to create your own combo, tailored to your interests and needs. There’s a reason why “dinner and a movie” became a cliche: while not perfect, it combines intimacy and interest, an ability to hold hands and talk animatedly about what you’ve just seen. You could try stopping for coffee before going to a carnival, or rock climbing followed by dessert. There’s nothing that says you can’t give yourself the best of both worlds.
In choosing a first date, remember to be open with your date, and ask them what they’re up for - the burden shouldn’t fall on only one person. Together, you can find an activity that interests you both. Just remember to consider the balance of your activities; you want ample opportunity for both fun and flirtation!
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