Are You Making Excuses for Bad Dating Behavior?

Sometimes when we want a relationship to work out, we make excuses for our date's bad behavior. Have you been with someone who didn't respect your time and effort - who showed up late, who cancelled at the last minute, or who reminded you constantly about how busy he was so that you wouldn't have any clear expectations or know what he wanted? If so, you might have found yourself justifying his behavior to friends and family, maybe even to yourself, because you wanted things to work out.

When someone isn't treating you with respect, it's not a sign of a good relationship. Maybe he's late or making excuses as to why he can't see you because he's married or has another relationship on the side. Or maybe he's wrapped up in business and doesn't want to commit to anything too serious or that would take away time needed for work.

Whatever the case, if someone is making excuses why they aren't there for you, proceed with caution. I think it's easy to overlook your own intuition when it comes to relationships because you're in the throws of attraction and you really want it to work out. Maybe he'll come around and start paying more attention, but likely he won't. So it's time to be honest with yourself.

Instead of excusing his poor behavior because you're scared you'll lose him, have that difficult conversation. State your expectations and see how he responds. If he runs for the hills, you have your answer. Is he worth keeping if your relationship is only on his terms? If he's willing to sit down and discuss options of how to meet your needs, too - then carry on.

But what if you're the one making excuses to your dates? Work is busy, you are traveling out of town a lot, or a million other reasons prevent you from making concrete plans or going out more than once every week or so. To be honest, you just don't want a serious relationship. You'd rather keep things loose. Or you're just not that into the dates that you've met so far. But instead of politely turning them down and moving on, you keep them at a distance, or you refrain from contacting them unless you want to get together.

If this is you, it's also time to be honest about what you want from a relationship - and with your dates. If you're just looking for some company or friendship as opposed to a commitment, then instead of leading your dates on, you should let them know exactly what you want. Not everyone is looking for a serious relationship or something long-term, but if they aren't they deserve to know your intentions. And if you're really not interested? Let them know. They will appreciate that they don't have to wonder where you stand.

Bottom line? No more excuses. Know what you want and be honest with your dates.