An Audience of One
- Thursday, April 28 2011 @ 09:06 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,372
Some people think that the world of online dating can be conquered by having a good profile. Once they polish up that profile and send it out into the ether, they think, the prospective dates will be lining up! Well, it might work that way in a perfect world; it might even work that way for a very few, very lucky people. However, for the rest of us, there’s still work to be done when the profile is complete.
Imagine you’ve written the next great novel. It really is fantastic; you’re not biased. And when you’ve edited the last word, you print the whole thing out carefully and store it on your bookshelf. Patiently, you wait for fans and media and critics to beat down your door with acclaim. Obviously, that would be a silly expectation; your novel is not published, and you haven’t tried to bring it to the attention of publishers or readers in any way. Just having it completed, out in the world, is not enough.
In online dating, your profile might be available to be read, but only if someone happens to stumble across it with the right search combination. How can you make it available to a wider audience?
Mostly, it means you have to take the first step. Whether you’re a man or a woman, the advice applies equally: if you want your profile read, particularly by people you’re interested in, you’re just going to have to make the first move. A first-contact email is short and sweet; it asks a simple question or two and is basically a glorified “hi.” But the first thing the recipient will do is go back and read the profile. Suddenly, all the work is worth it; you’re making your intended first impression.
Why not just send a nudge or a nod? you wonder. Well, while it’s true that it’s probably better than nothing, the fact is that little pokes and winks are over-used and sometimes even cleared out without checking who sent them. Besides, it’s the equivalent of a half-smile in person. If you’re interested enough to think about elbowing them, why not take the five minutes and send an email that shows you’ve actually read their profile, and are a real, breathing, non-scamming person?
Some dating sites like to combine social networking. If that’s the case, take full advantage of that too, commenting and participating. The best way to maximize your chances of success in online dating is to fully embrace it. If you’ve gone to the trouble to make a fantastic profile, why not jump in with both feet and make sure it’s seen?
Imagine you’ve written the next great novel. It really is fantastic; you’re not biased. And when you’ve edited the last word, you print the whole thing out carefully and store it on your bookshelf. Patiently, you wait for fans and media and critics to beat down your door with acclaim. Obviously, that would be a silly expectation; your novel is not published, and you haven’t tried to bring it to the attention of publishers or readers in any way. Just having it completed, out in the world, is not enough.
In online dating, your profile might be available to be read, but only if someone happens to stumble across it with the right search combination. How can you make it available to a wider audience?
Mostly, it means you have to take the first step. Whether you’re a man or a woman, the advice applies equally: if you want your profile read, particularly by people you’re interested in, you’re just going to have to make the first move. A first-contact email is short and sweet; it asks a simple question or two and is basically a glorified “hi.” But the first thing the recipient will do is go back and read the profile. Suddenly, all the work is worth it; you’re making your intended first impression.
Why not just send a nudge or a nod? you wonder. Well, while it’s true that it’s probably better than nothing, the fact is that little pokes and winks are over-used and sometimes even cleared out without checking who sent them. Besides, it’s the equivalent of a half-smile in person. If you’re interested enough to think about elbowing them, why not take the five minutes and send an email that shows you’ve actually read their profile, and are a real, breathing, non-scamming person?
Some dating sites like to combine social networking. If that’s the case, take full advantage of that too, commenting and participating. The best way to maximize your chances of success in online dating is to fully embrace it. If you’ve gone to the trouble to make a fantastic profile, why not jump in with both feet and make sure it’s seen?
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