A Beautiful Mind
- Thursday, March 17 2011 @ 03:42 pm
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,598
Have you ever read an article or a book by someone and said to yourself, “This person is in my head” or “I want to be the author’s friend”? It’s not uncommon. In today’s world, professional writers have access to personal blogs and social networks. We get to know them beyond their published works. And because they’re so skilled with words, it’s not uncommon for them to appear to be the smartest, funniest, most compassionate people around.
Then people meet their favorite authors in person, at book signings or conventions, or they see them on a TV interview. And... it’s hit and miss. Sometimes that hilarious, witty personality shines through in person. Sometimes not. Sometimes what you interpreted as funny in the printed word now sounds caustic and bitter coming out of the author’s mouth. When we read, we create something - sometimes someone - in our minds. Sometimes what we’ve created matches reality - but not always.
And so it is with online dating profiles. We’re reading the words of someone else, but reading them with our voice and delivery, in our minds. The actual author might be even better than what we’ve read... or worse. This doesn’t mean that online dating is any less ingenuous than any other form of dating; indeed, since not everyone has the same strengths, often an online profile allows deeper and more candid insight than a chance meeting in person. It simply means that we can’t discount the value of meeting in person, feeling out that element of chemistry.
Every method of meeting new people has its drawbacks; whether you’re meeting someone in a bar, in a grocery store, or at the other end of the vast space of the Internet, you only get part of whole picture when you receive a first impression. In online dating, a profile can easily present the best aspects of a person, whether it’s their picture, their intelligence or their heart.
Most in the world of online dating feel that they would rather chance meeting someone with whom they have no chemistry, than pass up a great match in person based on a poor chance meeting. Indeed, it would seem that the chances of finding someone online are maximized (after all, there’s always the chance that an in-person meeting provides more chemistry than you anticipate!). Just make sure you’ve actually fallen in love with the person, not their words.
Then people meet their favorite authors in person, at book signings or conventions, or they see them on a TV interview. And... it’s hit and miss. Sometimes that hilarious, witty personality shines through in person. Sometimes not. Sometimes what you interpreted as funny in the printed word now sounds caustic and bitter coming out of the author’s mouth. When we read, we create something - sometimes someone - in our minds. Sometimes what we’ve created matches reality - but not always.
And so it is with online dating profiles. We’re reading the words of someone else, but reading them with our voice and delivery, in our minds. The actual author might be even better than what we’ve read... or worse. This doesn’t mean that online dating is any less ingenuous than any other form of dating; indeed, since not everyone has the same strengths, often an online profile allows deeper and more candid insight than a chance meeting in person. It simply means that we can’t discount the value of meeting in person, feeling out that element of chemistry.
Every method of meeting new people has its drawbacks; whether you’re meeting someone in a bar, in a grocery store, or at the other end of the vast space of the Internet, you only get part of whole picture when you receive a first impression. In online dating, a profile can easily present the best aspects of a person, whether it’s their picture, their intelligence or their heart.
Most in the world of online dating feel that they would rather chance meeting someone with whom they have no chemistry, than pass up a great match in person based on a poor chance meeting. Indeed, it would seem that the chances of finding someone online are maximized (after all, there’s always the chance that an in-person meeting provides more chemistry than you anticipate!). Just make sure you’ve actually fallen in love with the person, not their words.
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