It's that time of year again. Leaves are changing color and falling to the ground. Starbucks has unleashed seasonal flavors and holiday cups. Temperatures are dropping and the sun sets before 5pm.
It's cuffing season.
For those unfamiliar with the term, let me explain. “Cuffing season” comes annually as cool weather approaches, when singletons become obsessed with finding someone to cuddle with. After a summer of low-stress dates and sexy flings, flying solo suddenly seems far less appealing than coupling up and sharing body heat.
With cuffing season comes more dates. With more dates comes more bad dates. And with those bad dates comes more people willing to settle in the name of having someone to spoon. Cuffing season or no cuffing season, resist the urge to pursue a match when intuition tells you it isn't right. Here are # signs that your date is just not that into you.
- They take a long time to respond to your messages. Sometimes work really is hectic and things like dating slip through the cracks. It happens. But more often than not, if someone doesn't reply to your messages in a timely fashion, it's because getting to know you isn't a priority. If they're interested, they'll act interested. That means replying within an appropriate timeframe.
- They never set up an actual date. You've messaged back and forth but there are no plans for an in-person meetup. Congratulations, you now have an internet penpal. Someone who wants to date you will, surprise, take steps to arrange an actual date. After the initial digital getting-to-know-you phase is done, it's time to ask for a phone number or plan to meet. If things aren't moving forward, it's time to move on.
- They don't ask questions. This is Dating 101. A person who is interested in you will ask you questions because they want to learn more about you. If they're silent, there are three possibilities. One, your date could be shy and too nervous to hold the conversation they really want to have. Two, your date is self-absorbed and only wants to talk about themselves. Three, they're just not that into you.
- They don't mention a second date. Could it be any clearer? Second dates are often arranged before the first date is over. You're just trying to enjoy your dessert and already your date is making plans for next weekend. We know when we've found a good thing and we want to lock it down ASAP. Someone who doesn't bring up your next time together within a reasonable period isn't interested in a next time at all.
Pick your ego up from the floor, dust it off, and get back in the ring. Cuffing season has only just begun.