Contributed by: kellyseal Wednesday, November 30 2016 @ 07:00 am
Dating on its own is difficult, but when you’re an introvert, it can be both frustrating and exhausting.
Introverts aren’t anti-social (contrary to popular opinion), but while they do enjoy being with people, they also need more time alone to recharge. Think of it this way: extroverts get more energy by being around people and excitement, whereas introverts gain energy from taking a time-out.
So what does this mean when it comes to dating?
Introverts crave connection, but usually in the form of an established relationship – this is where they thrive. However, they have to date to get there, which can be a difficult process for any introvert. They are not naturally outgoing or talkative or charismatic most of the time, so it can be a big effort to meet a date for the first time, where they feel the need to “perform.”
But dating doesn’t have to feel so overwhelming for introverts. Following are some tips to take with you on your next date that can make the process a bit easier:
Try an activity.
There’s nothing worse for an introvert than the prospect of sitting across from a first date and trying to think of conversation, and how to be engaging. Instead of putting yourself in this position, think outside the box and try to schedule an activity for a first date – like kayaking or going to a pumpkin patch or walking your dogs together. When you’re doing something physical, it helps release the pressure of making conversation, and it gives you something to talk about.
Go somewhere familiar.
New neighborhoods and restaurants can be challenging for an introvert, especially if you’re meeting at a loud bar or club. Instead of trying someplace new, stay comfortable and schedule your date at a favorite restaurant or café. Keep it casual and try lunch or brunch instead of evening, if that makes you more comfortable.
Limit your time.
There’s nothing worse for an introvert than thinking of the long stretch of time you have to commit to for a dinner date – so don’t. Try scheduling dates to meet for coffee or a drink during happy hour. Don’t put added pressure on yourself.
Take time in between dates to recharge.
Extroverts might be able to swipe from one date to the next, meeting several people in a night. Introverts aren’t wired that way. They need time to be alone and recharge, so they can bring their enrgy to the next date. Don’t schedule back to back dates – instead, make certain nights or days during the week your “date time,” so you know what to expect and how much energy it requires.