3 Steps To Get Back In The Dating Game After A Breakup

Let's not sugar coat this: there few things worse than the end of a relationship. If you breakup with your SO, find out your goldfish died, and then realize you've run out of ice cream, then yes, you're having a truly terrible day and have my deepest sympathies.

But barring that unexpected car crash of unfortunate events, a breakup is about as bad as it gets. Being in a relationship takes a lot of effort, even if it isn't a very long one, and at the end it feels like your energy is totally tapped out. Then you think about the fact that you have to start the process all over again with someone new, and becomes twice as exhausting.

People don't just hop up and run marathons. They train, slowly, until they're in good enough shape – both mentally and physically – to take on the challenge.

Adopt the same strategy for your post-breakup plan. There's no rush, but you do need to put conscious effort into the process or you'll never cross the finish line. Here are 3 exercises to add to your breakup personal training program:

1. Spend time dating yourself. After the chaos of a breakup, you need peace, quiet, and time to regroup. It's easy to lose sight of who you are in a relationship that isn't working, so use this time to recover your sense of self. Treat yourself to the things you love, whether it's brunch, bike rides, cooking classes, or trips to museums. The goal is to remember how great your own company is and regain a solid idea of yourself as a single individual. Once you've got that down, you'll be ready to let another person in and feel more confident about doing it.
2. Find the fun in flirting. If you're just getting out of a relationship, your flirting muscles probably haven't been exercised in a while. They're bound to be a little stiff, and as the marathon runner from earlier knows, stiff muscles need to be carefully stretched. When you have the opportunity to put your flirty feelers out, do it. Don't expect anything in return – being overly attached to a specific outcome is a good way to set yourself up for failure – just enjoy the fun of working muscles that have been dormant.
3. Be social. Ben & Jerry are good dates for a limited amount of time, but pretty soon they'll be hurting instead of helping. Grab your friends and get out, whatever “out” means to you. It can be an afternoon of picnicking in a park or a wild night of partying – either one, or anything in between, is helpful as long as you're putting yourself in social situations. Bonus points if you start talking to strangers in addition to your friends.

Suddenly 26 miles doesn't seem so hard, does it?