Contributed by: ElyseRomano on Wednesday, October 12 2016 @ 07:01 am
Last modified on
Tinder is like dessert. A little bit is a welcome addition to your life, but too much indulgence - or worse, addiction - isn’t healthy for anyone.
A spokesperson for the company once claimed[*1] that the average user spends a whopping 77 minutes a day on the app. Imagine what you could do with that extra hour - hit the gym, read a book, learn a language, cook a meal, work on your side hustle, grab a drink with friends - things that make your life more interesting, thereby making you more attractive and, yes, more dateable.
Spend too much time on Tinder and you risk entering unhealthy obsession territory (and might actually be hurting your chances of finding a date). Not to mention that hours spent swiping doesn’t guarantee you’ll be hit by Cupid’s arrow. What you might be hit with instead is exhaustion.
So what do you do if you need a break from your smartphone? Take a digital detox and remind yourself of what it takes to date IRL. Below, a short refresher course:
Set the scene.
Think about yourself - your actual, physical self - like you’d think about your online dating profile photo. Is that person approachable? Do they look friendly? Do they present themselves in a positive light? Body language speaks louder than words. If your posture is closed off and cold, you’ll be considered the same (even if that’s not how you feel). Encourage people to approach you by adopting open, receptive body language.
Say yes.
How quickly do you think you’ll meet someone if you constantly say no to social invitations? If you’re serious about finding love offline, you’ll have to step out of your comfort zone. The Häagen-Dazs in your freezer will wait. Commit to saying “yes” to the majority of invites you receive for a month, or two, or three. And while you’re at it, consider expanding your non-work activities. Taking a class or joining a club will introduce you to a whole new pack of potential dates.
Reach out to your social circle (and beyond).
We live in an age that celebrates singlehood, so embrace your solo status. Tell friends you trust that you’re available. As high-tech as 21st century dating can be, low-tech blind dates are still a viable way of meeting new people. Casual acquaintances can also be a source of dates. When a new buddy from the gym invites you to hang out, revisit Rule #2: say yes. You never know who you might meet in a new social circle.
Work on yourself.
You know what you expect from a partner. You want them to be smart, funny, financially stable, driven, adventurous, passionate, faithful. But how often do you think about yourself? Are you all of those things? It’s easy to forget that your partner is only 50% responsible for the success of a relationship. The rest is up to you. If you’re not living up to your high standards and being the best person you can be, why should they? Take every opportunity you can to learn and grow.