This Dating Site Wants You To “Settle For Love”
Contributed by: ElyseRomano on Wednesday, January 28 2015 @ 06:30 am
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Now here's something you don't see every day: someone who's trying to encourage you to settle.
Well, it's not really a “someone” so much as it's a “something.” A dating site, in fact. And it has the eye-catching name Settle For Love[*1] .
Now, before you turn into a self-help coach and start trashing the idea, hear what it's all about. It isn't so much about lowering your standards and accepting a sub-par partner as it is about embracing imperfection.
“It all started years ago when David was sharing crazy stories he had from meeting people through traditional dating sites,” says Settle For Love's Kickstarter page. “Dates were posting pictures from 10 years ago, hiding that they still lived with their parents, neglecting to mention they hate men, and the list goes on. It seemed traditional dating sites weren't encouraging users to do anything but sell themselves. Through these comical discussions, a clear gap was identified, and our site was born.”
A prototype was launched in 2013. A user's profile included both flattering and unflattering pictures, laid out the pros and cons of dating them, and explained what they'd be willing to settle for in a partner. The hope was that happier, healthier relationships would be the result of a more honest approach to dating. Besides, as the Kickstarter notes, “someone’s 'imperfection' may actually be an attractive quality to the right match.”
Self-awareness and a smidge of self-deprecating humor can be incredibly attractive. And there's something nice about knowing that a person can admit to their flaws. You're going to find out about them anyway – might as well list them all up front, right? That way you can decide immediately if you're actually compatible, instead of wasting time with someone only to discover after months that you're not a match.
Unfortunately, the Kickstarter failed to get full funding, but the idea is still an intriguing one. If someone could do the same idea – but bigger, better – would it stand a chance against other dating sites? Are people ready to focus more heavily on what's inside, or are we secretly all shallow regardless of what we say we want? And would taking the imperfections-first approach actually improve relationships in the long run, or just make us even more likely to reject people without actually taking the time to get to know them?
It looks like we won't know for sure this time, but I'm curious to hear what you have to say. Share your thoughts in the comments.