Contributed by: Jet on Wednesday, November 13 2013 @ 06:41 am
Last modified on
It’s not surprising that many in the dating world focus on finding The One. The One they’re meant to be with, The One who perfectly matches their particular quirks and strengths... The One who will ultimately make them happy.
Not surprisingly, that places quite a bit of pressure on everyone involved. Maybe this person is great, but are they The One? Maybe this person seems like they might be The One for me... but they don’t think I’m The One for them. Does fate even work that way?
You’re worried about making the wrong choice. Your date is worried about doing something to make them appear less than perfect. But what if there wasn’t a One out there? What if there wasn’t even a One Perfect Type for you?
The idea that there’s one perfect archetype that perfectly complements you seems a little unlikely to begin with. If there were one perfect person in the world for you, what are the odds that they’d be in your hometown, and not Singapore? Yet there are countless little old couples who have been happy for decades. What about the widow who had a great love that died early, found someone completely different, and was still happily in love for the rest of her life?
Perhaps the truth is that love and commitment are at least partially a choice. It’s not a matter of “settling” for someone who makes you less than happy; perhaps the truth is that there are hundreds of people out there who could potentially make you just as happy. You don’t want to spend your life trying them all, however, so you actively choose to be with one.
Perhaps that decision is daunting for some - the idea of someone who runs from commitment is not a new one - but it should be freeing as well. Because you aren’t trying to find The One, the only one in the world who could possibly make you happy. Your “perfect match” doesn’t necessarily have to fit every item on your checklist to make them perfect for you. In a true sense, you’re looking for a partner; someone to grow with, make discoveries with. If that’s what you’re truly searching for - not a clone or a fantasy - you may encounter one sooner than you’d think.
So who are you searching for?