Contributed by: Jet on Wednesday, November 27 2013 @ 07:00 am
Last modified on
Imagine you’re walking down the street and someone catches your eye. In this imaginary world, you’re somehow able to know that they’re unattached and looking for love themselves. They might not be model caliber, but they look attractive enough and pleasant, and they’re carrying or wearing something that indicates you even have common interests.
But just as you’re about to make your move, someone else reaches the intersection. They, too, are single. There are no indicators of common interests - in fact, they’re about as far from your general “type” as can be - but they’re incredibly attractive. Who do you approach?
Chances are, regardless of who you choose, the attractiveness of the first option has somewhat paled. They aren’t any uglier than they were a few moments ago, but now they’re stacked up against this competition! Who can compete?
This same scenario can play out with online dating. The obvious perk of online dating is that there are plenty of options, including very attractive people. The downside, however, is that people who might have been perfectly acceptable before are now being compared against the more attractive (even if you aren’t compatible with them).
The good news is that you don’t have to choose between the two options. You can send first-contact messages to both types of people, and anyone else in-between; after all, online dating is a perfect way to try to date people outside your typical box.
The trick, though, is to consider each possible relationship on its own merits. You’re not going to be able to create some frankenstein perfect date out of traits from various people, so don’t compare them against each other. Contrasting two people who are both interested and viable potential partners is one thing; wishing one date had the wit of Option #2 and the face of Option #3 is something else. What you’re looking for is an overall spark. Do you enjoy being with this person more than the others?
Some people are easily able to compartmentalize each dating experience, but it’s not for everyone. If you think you might have a harder time considering each date individually, it might not hurt to alter your behavior accordingly. Try to limit the number of people to whom you send first-contact messages, so you can keep them straight. Once you’re meeting up for a date, try to stick to dating only one or two people at a time. It might be a slower process than some - but by giving each date the consideration they deserve, you’re raising the chances that you won’t miss out on someone great just because they’re another face in the crowd.