Contributed by: Jet on Monday, September 16 2013 @ 06:34 am
Last modified on
When you first sign up for an online dating site, it can be intoxicating - or overwhelming, depending on your perspective. All those choices! You’ve heard that there are plenty of fish in the sea, but suddenly you’re getting a true glimpse of what that can mean - zooming out until you’re looking at an entire ocean (and knowing you’re still only seeing a tiny fraction of what’s really out there). As tempting as it can be to just dive in or shut down altogether, remember that there are actually perks to zooming back in, and taking profiles just a few at a time.
First and foremost, there’s a glazing effect - meaning your eyes get glazed over after viewing a few too many profiles at once. Everyone starts to seem the same. Furthermore, your first-contact emails start to seem the same, too. We might all be tiny ants in this big ol’ world, but hardly anyone is comfortable being constantly reminded of it; nothing accomplishes that more than a copy-and-paste email.
Once everyone starts to sound the same, it’s even harder to keep track of those profiles you’ve viewed. Maybe someone caught your eye the other day, but you had to run out on an errand and didn’t have time to contact them then. Now, unfortunately, you can’t find their profile! You thought you remembered their name, but apparently not. And retracing your steps is next to impossible. It’s hard enough finding someone who really piques your interest, but potentially losing them before you’ve even sent an email is doubly frustrating.
An entire site of potential matches can be daunting, so a good way to manage profiles in small amounts is to make good use of your custom searches. Perhaps one day you look up a specific interest or keyword. Don’t bounce from once search to the next - you’ll only potentially confuse yourself. Instead, limit yourself to one or two specific searches a day, and commit to really reading those profiles. Keep a blank document open and list your keywords, as well as profiles you’ve found interesting (their usernames, perhaps with links to their actual profiles). Later on, if something seems vaguely familiar (maybe even on another site), you can at least check whether they’ve grabbed your eye before.
There’s nothing wrong with taking a broad approach to perusing profiles, but sometimes it can be difficult to give profiles the attention they deserve when you’re overwhelmed by the numbers. It’s fine to send out several first-contact emails - after all, it’s akin to saying hello - but make sure you can handle, and recall, those you’re contacting!